I Don't Love You With

Eternal comfort in two sentences.

 

Drip Study

A longer poem but so delicious, its worth every word.

"The body always tells the truth first."

Even when you're highly skilled at ignoring

the messages from your container of skin and bones 

overflowing with breathtaking and breath making things

of immense and astonishing intricacy and wonder...

it continues its telling until you wake up and pay attention.

"The way anger prefers motion to confession."

How many time have I folded clothes or vacuumed,

or scanned the cupboards and the screen

for something, anything to squelch the rage before it hurt someone?

"This wasn't chaos. It was accumulation.

Years of swallowed sentences learning velocity."

Wow. Wow. Wow. 

"Years of swallowed sentences learning velocity"?

This verse makes my ears ring.

"There's no center here.  No horizon.

Just the evidence of staying alive

long enough to empty yourself

without asking permission."

How many of us get the chance...Or should I say TAKE

the chance to empty ourselves of every fragment of yes when we mean no,

every ounce of compliancy, every drop of pleasing, every molecule of agreeable?

"This is what it looks like when

control finally admits defeat

and something more honest takes over."

As someone who believes deeply in mutual respect

and decency, it appears to me we are witnessing 

a counterfeit form of "honesty"...

if you want to call it that...  "Telling it like it is" 

as a form of cruel belittlement of others 

does not equal any kind of integrity in my book. 

Telling it like it is, is not an adequate excuse

for objectifying others,

 and demonizing those one sees as inferior.

It is not honesty, 

it is deceit, 

it is fraud, 

it is wrong.  

To have it prevail in a seat of power

is a crime against our universe.

 

Where Do I See Myself?

Much of this touches my heart.

"...growing a garden of hopeful, little seeds

and tending to then daily because courage 

takes work and work is an honor. "

I would say commitment instead of work

although I certainly know that commitment takes work.

"understanding how rare and cherished the ordinary day can be."

This is where sanity and thick, tangible goodness lives, I believe.

"...standing up for the underdog."

Many people empathize with the underdog.

It takes great courage to stand up for them

when cruelty gets aimed their way.

healing more than I complain and 

listening more than I judge.

Oh boy, this is spot on in grand proportion. 

I do not see myself under God's wing and 

respect the author's right to do so, as I recognize

this is one of those, listen more than judge situations.

 

Beneath The Polite Green Lawn

This entire piece took my breath away.

https://www.wildwoodwriter.com/

". . .a telegram of want, the others answer

sending sugar like a sacrament

a quiet mercy moving in the dark."

"They kneel, they weave, they practice a grammar of holding."

"The wounded one is steadied by invisible hands"

"...below, in the damp cathedral of earth,

the roots remain devoted, they braid

around stone, around bone, 

around the cold relics of

things once breathing."

"They drink from what has died

and turn it into green testimony."

"The forest is not a collection of trees,

it is a single body. . ."

This is how I want to read scripture.

 

In A Time Of

We all know this, still, being reminded is uplifting.

It reassuring to hear it articulated so succinctly,

and with such confident encouragement.

 

Redefining Success

"celebrates that she finally knows that

 tending to her own flame is the whole point--"

To care for yourself is vital...

it requires you to remove the layers

of pleasing others and discovering

what feeds your flame. Then,

your glow will automatically warm others.

"she plugged her ears to the world's noise 

and carved a path to her insides instead."

No small feat in a world tightly woven together,

but well worth the effort to knowing who you truly are.

"because it grew her flame bigger, brighter,  braver."

What makes your flame bigger, brighter and braver?

It's worthwhile to contemplate.

"she sees that the world is begging for new definitions."

A deliciously new way of seeing things...

not as endings, but new beginnings.

Redefine the failed systems into ones

that contribute to freedom, fairness and fortitude.

"that the unreal must be burned to the ground...

To focus on what is real...true...eternal...

Until reading this, it had not occurred to me

that burning petroleum products

may have a silver lining...which does NOT

mean I agree with the debauchery.

It simply adjusts the dial to where 

positive outcomes become visible.

May we each tend our flame 

making them bigger, brighter and braver

redefining success in the process.

Namaste

 

Microdosing Beauty

"As I look and listen, the lies in my mind dissolve and

I am left here with these few words, sunlight warming away

whatever lies are left."

The lies in my mind about how we are caught up in awful with no way out.

 Lie. 

The lies in my mind like no action I commit matters in the big picture.

Lie.

The lies in my mind telling me I'm responsible  and accountable and

what I'm doing is not enough and I must do more, do more, do more.

Lie.

The lies in my mind saying goodness and decency fall short 

in a world run by big money and dishonest, self-serving leaders.

Lie. Lie. Lie.

"Microdosing beauty. Yes, this is the way back to the real."

May we stay with the real and let it lead us step by step

toward truth and genuine justice for all.  

And may it happen quickly.

Namaste

 

Side by Side by Side by Side

". . .in this vast, cold, expanding world, we have been given

the capacity to trust."

This is no small thing.  Trusting is not for sissies...

it asks for care and discernment as you leave childhood,

where you are indeed fortunate when given

 a healthy foundation for trusting.

May we strengthen and tighten 

our capacity to trust each other

in our local, personal relationships and  communities 

in order to offset the loss of it in the more public places.

Life is not a video game and neither is trust.

It's heart to heart and skin to skin.

Namaste

"we feel it. . .the gift of loving each other, dark though it may be."

 

The World Crumbles

"And still we keep it together."

What, exactly, are we keeping together?

Our sanity? Our Democracy? Our human dignity?

Our empathy?  Our compassion for others and our planet?

All of the above?

"The weight settles, and still, we keep breathing."

A dreadful weight it is.  Yet, our breathing continues.

We do everything we can to halt the rich men's war games,

and still, they continue, and still, we keep breathing.

"The pain growls, and still, we find ways 

to quiet the ache. Open arms, 

hands reaching  for each other. . .

I'll help you carry the day."

We may find ways to quiet the ache.

I believe we are learning to carry it,

woven into the fabric of our days.

Together...with and for each other...

Minneapolis showed us, as are

countless communities across America.

We refuse to give up on Democracy,

We refuse to give up on life, liberty and justice FOR ALL.

Namaste'

 

This Is What Life Does

 

This Is What Life Does

This is what life does.

It smooths your edges; quiets you down

Brings you to your knees; your creaky knees.

It gives you a new sky each morning

Which you can enjoy, remark upon, photograph, paint, fuss over, ignore.

This is what life does. 

It levels you; removes the rungs, if you're lucky,

and gives you a field where everyone can play.

This is what life does

It takes away your father the year you turn 40.

It keeps your mother alive to cry and 

wish she could die; Past 95.

This is what life does.

It gives you daughters who stump you when they're younger 

and dazzle you more and more as each day passes.

And grandchildren! Oh the grandchildren!

A paradise of all things miraculous.

And a man; a man who loves you and sticks by you

even when you're someone you don't even like much.

This is what life does

It gives you a neighbor the same age as your mother;

blind and lame, living alone, minus daughters,

minus grands, with an attitude you marvel at...

always upbeat, always alert, always welcoming.

This is what life does.

It surprises, quiets, astonishes, dazzles.

It terrifies you with all sorts of scary imaginary and real things.

 And it gives you poets, and stories, and teachers and farmers 

and artists, and  musicians and music to make you dance 

even when you're driving.

Nurses, cooks, workers, and neighbors and friends.

And the mountains…the glorious Smoky Mountains.

And Jones Creek Road and Timber Ridge

And flame azaleas and goats beard in your garden

This is what life does

It takes you to new places of evolution

And yes, erosion and decay

But also expansion…in a good way

It molds you and forms you and gives you away.

KAStilwell

Invocation

Isn't this exquisite?

I'm especially drawn to:

"Let the verbs noun.

Let the nouns verb."

 

and, without pause:

"Let the land speak."

May we--Listen. Listen. Listen.

May we weep together at the disrespect and suffering.

And rejoice together at our amazing resilience.

And work together to bring about a truly thriving place

where all of us can reside and remain.

Let. It. Be.

Namaste'

Smaller Than I Thought

 Most of us steer clear of the topic of death with ample reasons.

Yet, when reading this, I encounter a sense of comfort.

The fear and foreboding steps back a notch, 

giving me the willpower to dwell on the subject 

even with all the heavy feels that go with it. 

With surprise, I discover  it troubles me less.

The idea of melting into the soil and,

becoming part of every living thing, 

appeals to me. 

I remind myself no one....NO ONE

knows what its like to be dead.

Of course we know from this side,

 they are no longer here in physical, 

tangible form, and that's excrutiating.

 but we have no idea what it's like for them. 

They might be out there  "living" it up.

Who knows?

We will when we get there. 

"It is imaginary.

It is real.

It is love."

Return

"Please. . .do it for those who think they must hide,

numb, tame, tidy up, puff up, tamp down, down, down."

I am one of these in every comma...It's unsettling to be recognized.

I thought I would have learned more after all this time,

yet each of these found its mark down deep where I hide.

"do it because the world is dying from lying,

dying from caged truth--dying from too much of too much."

Dying from more than enough and never enough; 

from  "I must be greater, I must be greatest; 

the best of the best, and, mostly, better than you and you and you.

Incapable of entering the halls of equality.

"Do it because you are an undeniable work of art."

This is the line to etch into granite wherever you can.

To post on every mirror in your vicinity and

 every zoom call you appear in.  

Think it whenever you sign your name or log in.

Live into the truth of it.

It matters.

You matter.

 

Trusting Life

I would add, trusting yourself as you live your life.

Trust you will be aware of and open to growth and wisdom.

Trusting you will navigate with the best within you.

That your resiliance is growing through every event.

Trust that whatever happens, you will meet it with all you are capable of.

Trust that you are not alone no matter how lonely you're feeling.

Trust that help is available whenever you need it.

Trust that you don't have to be flawless...you don't have to know everything...

you are good and decent and that matters...you've got this...

We're in this together.

We are prevailing.

Namaste

 

Everywhere

The elegance and truth in these words pierces every defense

and denial inside of me, softening and strengthening at the same time.

I'm now on the look out for tiny stings that alert me to

something trying to fracture my fortress of fear,

to puncture my mindless programming,

 to alter my abrupt assumptions,

to euthanize my need to please;

to break my ice of nice;

and witness my own stark truth, 

in all it gore and glory...

without censure, edit or rewrite...

to behold and hold the agony and the ecstacy

and every layer between them.

Thank you for being here.

Namaste

 

Illogic

This pretty much sums it up.

Nothing to add but sadness and 

the persistence of resistance.

May it be so.

Namaste

 

The Erotics of Awe

While these words jarred me at first,

I've come to appreciate them more and more

each time I sit with them.

Believe me when I say, I would never have thought

of whispering prayers, or wishes, or imaginings 

to  mud.

However, the more I learn about the understory,

the more fascinating and fecund it becomes.

It's something that repels  and compels simultaneously.

Intricate happenings occur.

Happenings any human could consider 

worthy of high respect and attention.

This link provides some interesting facts I was not aware of:

https://ohmyfacts.com/animals/20-facts-about-worms/

I love to encounter knowledge that turns my 

biases upside down and inside out.

Thanks for being the miracle of you.

Until tomorrow.

 

Great Again

America still possesses all the attributes 

he names, and more so.

It's only one man along with the cadre that benefits

from playing along with his every whim;

 lying to him and for him about how things are going, 

who are blocking the view of the abundance of truth and goodness.

Along with the gullible who believe the theatrics are authentic.

(That number is shrinking.)

Meanwhile real people and our Earth, 

are grievously harmed by their actions.

We have the opportunity to show how

the power of money can be overwhelmed

with the potency of kindness, the fierceness of decency.

The force of goodness, the strength of equality.

The mightiness of diversity and inclusion.

America is still all those things and more...

this is a setback, but we are mighty in our determination..

Think it often, speak of it over lunch with coworkers,

Make it visible to our neighbors and friends.

Remind everyone we come in contact with.

Let our goodness smother the inferno

of division and dominion.

Together, we can do this.

Shalom

 

Let Go

Is it letting go or learning how to mediate the hard and the soft?

I think of how the monks touched so many lives with their walking.

Peace sits tightly wrapped up with turmoil in my chest,

thinking of the contradictions contained in today's world. 

I do know that when my mind is full of turmoil,

one of the best things I can do is walk...walk off the imbalance.

Turmoil ceases to tip the scale...a sense of steadiness returns.

And if you can't walk; dance, vacuum, weed the garden,

 paint something, cook something.... whatever centers you,

It's not so much letting go; more like accepting the hard realities;

acknowledging the contradictions...

and interceding for the side of dignity and decency.

Shifting your focus from the travails

to the marvel of being here in your miraculous body, 

on this astonishing planet, in the midst of this incredible universe.

Namaste

 

I Forget How To Listen

"It's so painful to hear the rhetoric of hate."

We feel this pain.  It's like a sharp shock shakes

all the tender places within and makes them throb. 

 I cover my ears or turn off whatever is transmitting the onslaught.

It's a defensive manuever...survival instinct.

"What if I could hear the human in you and

not only the weapons of your words?"

It would be beneficial to know how to do this.

It's totally foreign territory in my world,

but that doesn't mean it can't happen.

"What if we left all our mouths at home 

and let only our ears gather in the streets?"

I think this is why silent gatherings are so powerful.  

What if congress held a silent session every now and then?

Members would come with one thing written on their sign.

And instead of arguing, everyone "listened" 

to the other's sign and attempted an understanding?

Disagreement and debate are not hateful.

Differences of opinion are not hateful.

I refuse to believe humans were created to be hateful.

"What peace might arrive, for a moment, if we listened,

all of us miracles, listening with the ears of our hearts,

as the cold wind swirls all around?"

What if the ears of our hearts hear hate as gibberish?

What if they were instantly ignored as meaningless babble,

not worthy of a nanosecond of our attention?

I remember the chant from childhood...

"sticks and stones might break my bones,

but words will never hurt me."

I'm wondering how much practice it will take

to get to the place where that is true?

To shift my thinking from "words matter"

to "not all words matter"?

Only words of respect, honesty, and decency matter.

To grow the ability to translate words of hate,

into words of someone wounded, crying for help?

What if the illness is not only hurting them, 

but hurting innocents? What if  it is contagious

and infecting others along the way?

 What kind of love does it take to heal that?

I'm listening.  Listening intently for the answers.

Namaste

 

Please, Do Not Wander

"Do not stray into crowded streets, cowardly corners--

it is not possible to drink from what is empty.

While I take her point, I loved walking the streets of Manhattan.

It felt like a jovial conglomoration of incredibly diverse humans

all doing their thing, attending to their day.

Cowardly corners I understand.  Cowardice is contagious;

so is bravery.  Bravery is the call for the times. 

"...they have learned that there is plenty--. . ."

 For many decades, those of us residing in this country have (mostly)

lived in a land of plenty, don't you think?

Not without exceptions, of course.

"if tiny birds can learn to share, maybe we can too.

Maybe despite the weight of this deep, dark,

relentlessly draining winter, we too can

learn to drink from the fountain of plenty, 

to resolve to stay and stay right where we are.

We are a sharing country when we're healthy.

Right now we are suffering from a serious disease

which must be healed in order for all of us to be the

kind and generous people we are in our hearts and souls.

We are tending to the illness...its widespread.

It will take time and much energy and, together, we will

care for the sick and heal what's wrong.

Namaste

 

One Garden

"I want to be discerning, knowing whatever I choose to grow might

appear soon in the soil of you, so I am cautious when sowing

bulbs of anger, saplings of judgment, thorns of certainty."

Attending to a garden within is a rich metaphor.

It feels wise to pay attention to the seeds I sow.

The challenging part is forgiving the "weeds"

for showing up and causing trouble.

Can we call angry outbursts fertilizer?

"I want us all to plant great beds of unanswerable questions

and tend the mystery together."

This is my favorite line.

Thinking of us all planting our seeds of decency,

dignity, mercy, generosity; the list goes on and on.

What are your unanswerable questions?

"How else might it change what these hands do 

when I trust every choice matters?"

Every choice does matter.

That's why, in my book, mercy and forgiveness are vital,

as is treating yourself with the same generous, loving spirit

you intend to bring to the world outside your skin.

Namaste

 

Come Out of Hiding

". . .are we willing to show up without the layers and 

layers of protection, . . .to not need to be “on” or right?"

This is an intense question.

Even imagining "showing up without layers" I feel uneasy.

When my layers are calm and attentive, I'd say yes.

When they're grumpy, gloomy and highly critical, I'd say no.

Who needs to hear that?  

That is the stuff for meditation and private journaling.  

"When we tell the truth.

Maybe the hardest thing is thinking our lives 

are supposed to look different than how they look, 

that we are supposed  to look different than how we look."

This is something I practice, practice, practice.

Every time I find myself fussing about what is,

a little chime goes off....remimding me loving where I am

and what I have is the way to contentment.

"How much of ourselves are we willing to be?

Our gifts are hidden in what is hidden. "

This is where creating comes in I'm thinking...

revealing myself to myself and the world by making things...

to discover the intricate, hidden parts,

the good, the bad and the ugly.  To witness them without censure.

And be grateful for their complexity.

Namaste

 

Silent Teachers

I think of crows as quite noisy so I did some research. Here's AI's response:

 Crows generally fly silently when they are trying to avoid detection by predators, moving to a nesting site, or traveling to a communal roost in high-stakes situations.  While they are known for being loud,

social, and communicative, they are capable of becoming "absolutely silent" to avoid

drawing attention to themselves.

Tree's silence is something I'm gratefully familiar with although

I have heard them murmur and sometimes roar in wind...

I've also witnessed large bits of them flung to the ground,

and heard them creak with limbs rubbing close together.

"Then, I learned of silence from the soil that holds centuries 

of our suffering without a sound."

It holds suffering and astonishment in its silence;

and every other emotion humans live through.

It hold the remains of loved ones and a miraculous

world of activity...all in silence.

"like a field of dappled light in the quiet company

of each living mystery before me."

 

The Greatest Country on Earth

"Instead of ranking countries by happiness or wealth, 

by military might or the sum of our gross wasted products, 

we could perhaps study the conditions for gratitude, 

measure the impact of tenderness, map out the many ways to grieve, 

and how to yield with humility.

This is a breath of fresh air in today's offensive atmosphere.  

What if we could banish departments of war?

No need for trillion dollar defense budgets

 while people struggle to make a simple living.

My favorite phrase is: gross wasted products.

"We could abandon comparison for acts of compassion. . .

appraise all the ways to plant trees instead of judging beauty. . .

 how often we say thank you, and just how wide 

the aperture of awe holds us in reminder 

of the astounding possibility of being here at all."

My heart aches to live in a world where leaders

attend to the needs of the people rather than charging

out with their own ego-driven agenda.  

That is how I would like "here" to be. . .

in a land of mutual respect, decency, 

and consideration for all living creatures. 

That's not reality in this moment of time.

Yet, I can live my one miraculous life

bringing the world I want to exist into focus...

planting it deeply into my heart, 

breathing it into my body and out again,

practicing, practicing, practicing...

showing up and paying attention 

with kindness and curiosity;

forgiving myself and others when intentions go awry.

Inching the world I want to inhabit into reality

by acting as if it's already here.

Namaste