Let In All In

 Let It All In

Let it all in

the habitual scurrying thoughts 

about how best to use this time 

the space heater warming the chilled air 

of this October morning.

the facebook post remembering my brother 

absent on earth since 2017..dead at age 47

My mother's sister...left earth yesterday

a few days short of her 99th birthday.

Let it all in.

the stack of books awaiting my eyes

the pile of yarn awaiting needles and my fingers 

the watercolor supplies for the online painting lessons 

with my daughters and granddaughters. 

the candle softly swaying in the corner in the center of 

my circle of women sculpture 

next to the "wild unknown" tarot cards

today's card is "the storm"

yesterday's was "the thread"

Let it all in.

the thoughts still scurrying 

although calmer now 

the lightening sky...

no vivid colors of sunrise 

rather a soft steady dispelling of the darkness 

revealing the autumn colors of the trees 

alive on Black Mountain across the pasture... 

the chipmunk hoovering the bird seed 

strewn on the deck railing...for the birds.

Let it all in

 the email from my sisters 

the text from a nephew

Heather's email spelling out the state of our country...

her words a grim reminder of ugly forces

Rosemerry Trommer's daily poem

"Because Last Night I Dreamed of You" 

her words a marvel to my soul

My own post about "joy strewn everywhere"

Let it all in

The river of life alive in my mind... 

carrying me places I have yet to discover.

I don't want to miss one moment of it 

even as it slips so swiftly away 

leaving traces and fragments 

carrying me perpetually forward 

with or without my regard.

KAStilwell 2022

Have You Ever Seen

“The way the sun  every evening,  relaxed and easy,

floats toward the horizon and into the clouds or the hills,

or the rumpled sea, and is gone–

and how it slides again out of the blackness, every morning,

on the other side of the world.”

As much as I love Mary Oliver's devotion to the sun,

there are days of intense heat where I find myself 

not so enamored with it.  

That being said, I most certainly 

would not want to live without it.

 

Perhaps Art Is Simply This

"something the world can hold onto 

after we are done feeling it."

This gives art a whole new dimension in my world.

I confess to missing the piece about conveying a feeling.

My thoughts seem to drive my art activity.

I'm intrigued by this slant on things.

"perhaps that is why we make beautiful things,

because some moments are too precious

to let them disappear."

This reverberates inside...it invites me

to pay way more attention to these precious moments

and explore ways to make lovely things to honor them.

 

Invisible Work

"the way worms in the garden tunnel ceaselessly so the

earth can breathe and bees ransack this world into being."

Worms have a special place in my heart due to their diligent,

unglamorous, labor beneath the surface, in the dark.

There are mothers for everything, and the sea is a mother too,

whispering and whispering to us long after we have stopped listening.

This wants to break my heart into tiny pieces.  The grief of

how the sea is treated...as a dumping ground for debris by the ton,

is constant and heavy, yet, I keep telling myself we can heal this.

We can turn things around...listen to the whispering...

hear the message from the deep...alter the trajectory 

and restore healthy balance.

 

The Blue

"the zone where the unexpected dwells,

waiting to come out of it in the shape of bolts."

Honestly not crazy about the shape of bolts even

though that is the way the unexpected typically arrives, isn't it?

"I am at home with this heaven of the unforeseen. . ."

I am decidedly NOT at home with this...

although I find myself getting just a tiny bit better

at not going to pieces when unexpected 

inconveniences occur.

I've learned that I can actually 

take a breath and adjust

with a strong measure of grace 

and a great deal of 

quiet/outloud whining.

Isn’t it interesting?

I assume the unexpected

will be inconvenient...or worse.

Hello!! Good things happen

unexpectedly also!!

No whining necessary.

 

Swaddling The Sorrow

"Swaddle the Sorrow"

Such a tender, tender way to treat sorrow,

to wrap it tightly in a warm blanket,

hold it close to your heart and 

croon soft tunes of understanding.

Allowing it to scream and wail and thrash

around as it weeps through the sorrow

is no small gift...it is mighty care. 

Walking floors, rocking for hours,

the sorrow will surge and subside,

surge and subside...slowly giving way

to exhaustion and calm.

"when something feels safe enough

to be what it is, it can't help but lift,

drift, can't help but slip into

something more comfortable."

 

Except For The Body

While I  agree that next to a loved one,

"trees are [one of] the most beautiful forms on the earth."

Rivers are coming to mind, 

spider webs, 

sunflowers,

all kinds of flowers,

waterfalls,

mountains,

grass of parnassus,

moss,

this list goes on and on.

Aren't we the fortunate ones to live on this Earth?

Aren't we the fortunate ones to die on this Earth

and become part of it?