Whether You Succeed Or Not

 "Making your unknown known."

Georgia O'Keefe's words have gifted me

beyond measure.  

kastilwell

Every Teacher Is Human

 "Everything we learn, we learn from someone who is imperfect."

Perfect and imperfect are two words I struggle with.

Who decides?

Who gets to call which falls under which definition?

Perhaps, that's where maturity and wisdom come in.

You get to decide.  I get to decide.

And in my book, the answers are decidedly different

from what I picked up from the world around me along the way. 

I'm having to undo a lot of programming in this area.

I've been a blank and hungry slate for those

wanting to sell me something a good portion of my life.

There's a sense of lush freedom braided with pure terror 

as the unraveling commences and 

and the slate recalibrates.

kastilwell

 

Too Weird or Too Difficult

This touches on a tender place for me.

"value determined by productivity,

the strength of one's career, and 

individual entrepreneurship",

has stalked me all my life.

It's another aspect of 

people-pleasing syndrome,

isn't it? 

If you're fortunate

to have found your "thing"...

that one that fits you down to your soul or soles,

and provides you with a decent living,

bravo and cheers to you.

And, if your "thing" doesn't provide you with a decent living, 

may it bring you enough joy to make up for 

having to work a less than satisfying career.​​

Meanwhile, I'm focusing on

weird and difficult 

as a means of "resisting in place".

Which means

having the courage 

to shake off the shroud

of people-pleasing, doesn't it?

kastilwell

Rerouting and Deepening One's Attention

"rerouting and deepening one's attention to place"

This theme of place keeps appearing 

with threads from many different tributaries,

merging together into a flowing river;

however,

"will likely lead to an awareness of one's participation in history..."

I hadn't given much thought to this aspect until now.

Now I'm thinking of the late Barbara McRae

and how her attention to place

continues to contribute to this locale,

as I witness the construction of a viewing platform

for bird watchers and nature lovers

on our local greenway.

Barbara's attention to place has inspired

groups of individuals working together

to bring her visions into being.

The Women's History Trail, 

The Cherokee Heritage Apple Orchard,

are two of many, including the Greenway itself.

She was and continues to be an example and an inspiration

of what it means to be rooted to the land,

to the humans and the more-than-humans

living in a place on this earth.

kastilwell

Anything You Claim To Know About God

Even though I feel some hesitation

about sharing this, 

I think it is spot on.

I believe we humans

project our beliefs and our values,

particularly on the subject of Divinity.

I'd like to think this could be expressed

with a gentler tone but perhaps not?

kastilwell

Here's another way to say this.

With thanks to a dear friend for sharing.

If There Were A Divinity

 This was a quote by a dark matter scientist.

I'll include the longer passage below.

"Utterly separate from scientific enquiry

and human longing."

I rather like this.

So far outside understanding

we could neither measure

or pursue them into being.

It seems to me humans

tend to confine their 

sense of Divinity 

into too small a space,

with too confining a definition.

I am open to a Being

beyond any human capability

to define or confine.

kastilwell

Here's the entire passage.

“My sense,’ I say to Christopher, ‘is that the search for dark matter has produced an elaborate, 

delicate edifice of presuppositions, and a network of worship sites, also known as laboratories, all dedicated to the search for an invisible universal entity which refuses to reveal itself. It seems to resemble what we call religion rather more than what we call science.’

‘I grew up as a very serious Christian,’ Christopher says. ‘Then I lost my faith almost entirely when I found physics. Now that faith has returned, but in a much-changed form. It’s true that we dark-matter researchers have less proof than other scientists in terms of what we seek to discover and what we believe we know. As to God? Well, if there were a divinity then it would be utterly separate from both scientific enquiry and human longing.’

 . . .

‘No divinity in which I would wish to believe would declare itself by means of what we would recognize as evidence.’ He gestures at the data read-out. ‘If there is a god, we should not be able to find it. If I detected proof of a deity, I would distrust that deity on the grounds that a god should be smarter than that.” 

― Robert McFarlane, Underland

We All Carry Trace Fossils

This book has held me spellbound;

not only in the subject matter

which is fascinating,

but in the prose that often reads as poetry...

exquisite, cellular level beauty.

The thought that we carry

and deposit trace fossils 

as we journey through life

strikes a chord...

a tender and beautiful note.

The idea that empty volume

is easier to hold then presence

has me pondering;

for in my experience, absence 

of a beloved is heavy weight indeed.

kastilwell

 

Instead of god

"Say love again.

dark and light and forever."

Nothing else needs be said.

kastilwell

 

To See The Miraculous

This notion gets lost sometimes.

One forgets the supreme gift 

of an ordinary life

with an unknown measure of days.

One forgets to luxuriate

in simple pleasures, 

small intricacies,

the magic of creation.

One forgets to appreciate

the astounding privilege

of a life so filled with 

astonishing details

one can never begin

to fathom the depths of its wonders.

The mistake is taking it for granted,

as if one were entitled.

The miracle is,

we can learn from our mistakes.

kastilwell

I Am What My Reading Has Deposited

This book taught me much I did not know about time.

How we are traveling along in a vast, complex, intricate multilayered universe where

much of what exists resides in a nearly invisible blur. Our mind only catches fragments. 

It's added another layer of richness, wonder and awe

to my pilgrimage of life--my ongoing novel.

kastilwell

 

The Sweetness of Life

This is easy advice to follow

although perhaps not for 

ultimate health and wellbeing.

Nonetheless, I like the lightness of it

and the cheerful note 

it casts across the waters 

of my current landscape.

It's also helpful to

close my eyes and feel

the River of Goodness

flowing through time and place.

kastilwell

 

Your Identity

 To contemplate this inner place

"where there is a confidence and tranquility"

seems every bit as vital

as listening to the land

where we live in our outer space.

I'm wondering if they might be the same space?

kastilwell

When You Understand

In a dream last night,

someone was saying writers 

should never use "I".

In the dream, I realized

how much I do just that.

So now I say,

one's own judgments

for or against oneself

are also confessions.

kastilwell

PS: in case you're interested in the origin of the word confession.

No Such Thing As A Blank Canvas

 "everywhere there is 

complex, ancient, fertile

ground full of potential."

I'm gathering these words

and holding them close to my heart,

carrying them with me

as I wander with wonder

in this crazy, messy world.

kastilwell

Through The Lens of Ecological Interconnection

 If you're like me,

you might have to sit with this a minute

to absorb its full impact.

"the unfurling intelligence of

our own everyday wanderings

benefits all beings."

My translation: 

when we trust ourselves enough

to open our mind and heart

and follow where they lead,

without a plan or map,

all beings evolve.

And might I add that 

it takes a significant amount

of bravery to venture in this direction.

It operates in direct opposition to

everything we learn growing up 

in this society.

kastilwell

To Love Life

Holding my life "like a face

between my palms", 

and seeing it as a 

precious loved one

gives me a quietly tender

way to see things with fresh eyes.

"a plain face, no charming smile,

no violet eyes." 

Here's me. 

With my one and only life,

held reverently.

Saying yes.

kastilwell

 

All This Is Simply To Say

This quote comes from MLK's

Letters from a Birmingham jail in 1963.

I am chagrined I am unfamiliar with his words

as they are timeless and powerful.

They resonate with relevance today, 50 years later.

I'm asking myself what does it take?

Must the evolution of humanity take so long?

Then, I'm reminded of Earth Time.

Comparatively speaking,

If Earth were 24 hours old,

humans have only existed for 77 seconds!

Now I must focus on making

my miniscule but vital portion

as genuine as possible and

contribute as much goodness

as I can muster.

kastilwell

She Slipped Through the Gaps

"she could sit beneath its shade and disappear--

or perhaps more rightly, she could show up. As herself."

This is the line that captures my imagination.

How to disappear from the performance part of oneself,

where judgement and assumption and expectations reside.

How to show up exactly as you are, in the moment,

in alignment with the natural world so often unnoticed,

wandering attentively along the pilgrimage

of your unique and precious way.

kastilwell

 

We All Travel

 This quote is a wake up call

for someone who walks forest wilderness every day

and tends toward taking it for granted.

Spending more time with the Milky Way

might be the antidote. 

kastilwell

PS: pronouns were adjusted in this quote.

Once Upon A Time

 I imagine this applies even to those of us who can't sing.

These days, our songs may be lamentations

but, no matter, heartfelt lamentation transforms to joy

for as we mourn so we rejoice.

There's a natural order to it.

The world has ears for all of it.

kastilwell

Take Care of Yourself

"Be there for all these things."

These words are such a comfort.

It's refreshing to realize

the place to start

is by seeing to your own well-being.

That's where we seed

that well-being into the rest of life.

If we are compassionate toward ourselves

 it flows outward

and nourishes others.

kastilwell

My Species

Patience has never been my strong suit.

However, there is something infinitely

comforting about the idea of 

 my own "bittered and darkening waters"

"growing tender and sweet."

Not so keen on being boiled

but its all metaphor.

Couldn't you say being alive

is the equivalent of being boiled?

kastilwell