Consistency over Intensity

 After reading The Notorious RBG last week and Heather Cox Richardson's update this morning, I am feeling agitated and frustrated at what seems to be a relentless and ruthless attack on democracy and just plain fairness.  I don't want our country broken.  

What do I do with this time and this silence?

Fear...ever present, hovering like giant predatory wings

in the wings...

Not only the fear for our country,

but the often muted (and silenced) persistent and desperate

pleas sounding from our Earth, our planet, our home.  

If there is no god to help us,

There is the spirit of goodness and fairness.

A spirit of dignity and decency for all.

Providing calm, steady pushback 

of the persistent, consistent kind

that does not give up or give in.

That is not boisterous or grandstanding.

It may seem to be lying dormant.

Lying dying.  Awaiting treatment.

I choose to believe it is alert 

and alive; standing ready.

Smoldering with banked ashes, 

poised for ignition, 

for lift off.  

An ocean rising 

in fierce and furious 

determination.

A strong storm brewing to

douse the flames 

of hatred, greed and domination.

We are the storm...

Renewing and improving the legacy of

true freedom, true justice and true equality

for all living entities on this good earth.

Let. It. Be.

kastilwell

Taste Every Moment

I was treated to one of these "tasty moments" this morning.

It was right before daybreak when I ventured outside.

There was a swirling layer of new snow on the ground

forcing me to walk more slowly and carefully toward my destination.

Rounding the corner, I was greeted with a crystal clear view

of a slivered waning moon floating large and close just above the horizon 

with Venus sparkling like a small crystal lake in the sky nearby.

Delicious!

Bees and Trees

 This is an excerpt from a podcast I listened to this morning while I walked.

I'd been finding myself in a "blah", uninspired kind of mood.

This perked me up and uplifted my spirits. 

Here's the link.    

It's Katherine May interviewing Michael Pollan 

on "The Future of Hope" via the OnBeing website.

I hope it does the same for you.

kastilwell

Incomprehensible Complexity

 This thought calls to mind Sonya Renee Taylor's statement

in "Your Body Is Not An Apology" that

we have to get rid of the ladders.

What would this world be like 

if we didn't position everyone

and everything on a ladder of hierarchy?

I think about this often.

It has opened my eyes to my own

mistaken sense of superiority/inferiority.

It's so deeply ingrained, 

I feel I carry it with me

everywhere...

mostly unconsciously.

Becoming mindful of it is unnerving

as it reveals how automatic it is and

how much it informs my thoughts and behavior.

I welcome this change of perspective despite

the strong discomfort and arduous attention

required to form new pathways.

kastilwell

Infinite Perspectives

This follows an earlier post about the significance of an ant.

Although I believe it stands alone in its message.

"One of Infinite Perspectives"! 

This is where this story came to life for me.

It gave me a new perspective similar to what it gave Ms. Miller.

It was a joy to participate in the shift 

of my inner lens to a different way of viewing.

Tomorrow's quote will be connected.  

I'm enjoying the excitement of possibility

and creativity in the idea of "infinite perspectives".

kastilwell

 

Something To Say

 Which half of the world are you?  

I suspect many of us would put ourselves in the first half category?

Of course, we all know nothing is so simple as this.

Only two categories for millions of people?

I'd say a good percentage of us have something to say

and do our best to convey it in whatever medium

works best for our personality.

My daughter calls her cooking her

"love language".

I think we can speak several love languages.

Growing flowers is one of mine.

Sharing thought provoking quotes is another.

kastilwell

No More Significant Than An Ant

 I wish I could remember how I discovered this delightful book.

The excerpt above is a small sampling.

It is helpful for me to remember 

how extremely tiny my "little life" is.

Even though it feels gigantic 

from my macro lens viewpoint.

It reduces the pressure of 

"what am I here for?"

and changes the question to

"how did I get lucky enough to exist at all?"

I do believe the critical piece is how

we treat each other, 

including the ants.

kastilwell

PS:  I recommend treating yourself as if you matter, too.

Behind Your Image, Below Your Words

Seems unnecessary to add anything to something

already thick with richness of thought.

May your day be filled with

the news of your inner world.

kastilwell 

 

Complex and Contradictory Stories

It reassures me to be reminded of 

the complexity and contradictions

contained in my humanity.

I so often get trapped 

into the easy thinking

that I am either one (bad) way

or another; but never both.

This thought requires zooming out

and seeing a more spacious version of things.

It invites a new way of thinking and seeing.

I'm calling it "both/and" mindset.

Yes, there may be flaws here and there,

(flaws=areas of invitation)

but the whole view is astonishing.

I'm practicing this every day.

kastilwell

 

Once The World Was Perfect

 Ok, cynical as this may sound, 

I'm not sure the world was ever perfect.

Every venture I've made into history

has erased any idealistic vision I've carried.

However, "taking it for granted" and 

"all manner of demon thoughts"

I'm familiar with.  

And I know for a fact that

"fear, greed, envy and hatred

put out the light."

We're witnessing it in real time.

And I also know that "sharing a blanket"

creates a spark of kindness

which makes a light 

to make an opening in the darkness.

So I'm concentrating on creating sparks of kindness,

and sharing blankets, and reaching out 

by text or phone or email

or whatever method suits you

to make openings in the darkness.

kastilwell

 

Choosing to be Curious

 As I give this quote consideration,

it occurs to me how unconscious my own curiosity is.

I have witnessed the dazed face of someone

I am firing questions at and 

instinctively tampered down my enthusiasm.

I've not given this much thought until now.

I've also been on the receiving end of 

someone's barrage of questions.

It can be intimidating and exhausting.

There's something inside me

that feels like I should be able to answer

and it's distressing when I don't know.

(Notice the "should".)

Sometimes so distressing, I feel anger

toward the person for exposing 

my lack of knowledge.

Geez.  New learning can be arduous.

kastilwell

Green is Good

1.   "If the most sidereal drink is pain, the most soothing clock is music."  and 
2. "The trees are anxious to be included." My two favorite lines.  
3. 
   
4. Two new words for me.
5. Rutilant:  

   glowing or glittering with red or golden light.
6. Si·de·re·al: of or with respect to the distant stars (i.e. the constellations or fixed stars, not the sun or planets).

The author of the poem pictured above is C.D Wright.

 

Give Them Something To Do

 I'm smitten by this idea.

Bring on the helpers!

"Give them something to do."

I confess its challenging to

marshal their marching orders 

into anything resembling coherence.

The question then becomes,

can I trust them to find the path

with scant directions?

I will wait in joyful hope.

kastilwell

Light Our Way From Here

 This piece struck me like lightening this morning.

(Thank you to Deb Woodham)

It reminded me of something I wrote 

when I was in my 20's. 

Shattered
I stand amidst the wreckage of my dreams.
Staring in disbelief, I see jagged pieces
Of “happily ever after” scattered wantonly about.
My ship of wishes—ravished by the storms of reality;
Flung carelessly against the rocks of life.
Ah, but all is not lost—for I am still breathing.
I was not swallowed.
I lay spent and bleeding from my wounds—but alive.  Yes, alive.
And as I look about,
the shattered pieces catch the sun’s rays,
Create diamonds of light
Slowly I reach out
Hesitantly touch a starry object
Holding my breath for fear it will disintegrate.
Much to my wonder and surprise,
it remains whole.  I squeeze; gently at first,
then harder.
My dreams exist amidst the debris
Now I see them, feel them, choose them, and cherish them.
The plate glass is gone.
No more “display window” life for me.
In its place is fresh air, warmth from the winter sun,
Hawks screeching, seasons changing.
Again I smile.
When opening my hand,
I find the diamond of light is part of me—
Radiating like star-cells from within.

kastilwell

circa 1975

SAVING THE CHILDREN

On this one year anniversary of the barbarism borne out of lies, fear and manipulation at our capital, it seems appropriate to share this poem I encountered by accident just this morning. 

We must not let ourselves grow numb and apathetic.  We cannot forget the injustices.

We must hold our values dear and guard them in whatever way we can.  Each of us can do our part from our heart.  We must.  I believe in who we are at our core.

May we find the way to turn the page from division and fear toward mutual respect and true justice for all beings.

kastilwell