Happy New Year

https://www.victoriaerickson.com/

 A gentle way to welcome the new year.

kastilwell

Edges

 Loving yourself over making others comfortable.

How's that for a challenge in the new year?

I'm feeling some serious edges just thinking about it.

Being so well indoctrinated in tending to others,

its like visiting foreign territory 

before the telegraph was invented;

without a map, and no GPS.

Like being on the Starship Enterprise

exploring a whole new landscape.

kastilwell

Song For The Turtles of the Gulf

 I I heard this poem in a podcast on Christmas Eve and it leveled me. 

"old great mother, ... the mosaic growth of shell so detailed,

no part of you simple, meaningless, 

or able to be created by any human,

only destroyed." 

"Forgive us for being thrown off true..."

My heart longs for the answer 

to saving our home.

My heart longs for true.

kastilwell

Still Possible

Each morning, I gift myself the experience 

of the next poem in David Whyte's book, Still Possible.

This quote is the final stanza 

of the title poem from today's reading.

It choked me up.

I would change the last words to

of being "felt and" said.

He is exceptionally skilled 

at doing just that.

May your Christmas Eve 

be deeply felt.

kastilwell

 

What Hope Is

This is a gigantic shift of perspective for me.

Hope has always been a nebulous abstraction.

Similar to faith and hope and love, even.

What do they really mean in organic 

and messy human terms?  

They are like some faraway galaxy 

we can only gaze at from afar and 

HOPE to achieve.

This turns it into a concrete, actionable power.

This thought has produced a seismic shift

in my understanding and in my reality. 

On this note, I wish you everything you hope for.

kastilwell

 

We Need Hope

 As I've come to expect and deeply appreciate, 

Brene gives a new perspective

and increases the nuance of words and thoughts

that have become fixed in my brain. 

They expand and deepen 

with new ways of seeing and feeling their meaning.

Interesting tributaries are discovered

and open for exploration.

A pilgrimage with hope.

kastilwell

It Just Let Her Breathe

 The first part of this was 

a clever way of expressing 

something many of us are 

intimately familiar with.

For me, the glory arrived

with the last six lines.  

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

With deepest gratitude, 

I'm becoming intimately familiar with that!

kastilwell

Everything Will Be Ok

Oh, to take these words and etch them 

on a permanent plaque inside my skin.

Keep looking 

for the small signs,

the quiet voices.

Believe in their heralding.

Trust in their promise.  

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

kastilwell

 

Confusion

 How many times, when paralyzed with confusion,

would this thought have given me a new perspective?

A way to see providing open windows rather than closed doors.

So many. 

So very many.

Now I have it as part of my repertoire.

kastilwell

I Wonder

 This is so powerful, it must be shared.

It speaks eloquently to the state of things.

kastilwell

Think of Me

 Expanding on the theme of the river...

I contemplate our local Little Tennessee River

which stretches through our small town

providing companionship for 

those walking on the Greenway,

(thanks be to those who make this possible;)

I marvel at its beauty; 

its way of presenting 

a different scene each day;

how it reflects the light of the sky;

the trees,  plants,  people, and buildings,

(as well as the lumber yard and debris)

while carrying or concealing 

all kinds of intricate life and death

in its depths.

I prefer to ignore the darker elements

but they exist and the river endures.

This line of thought gives additional texture

to my inner river reflection.

kastilwell

To The River

 To live by a river is something I dream of.  

I'm fortunate to have powerful creeks and rivers running close by.  

I'm also contemplating an inner river.

Flowing often unnoticed beneath the surface.

Silently replenishing and renewing my interior terrain.

kastilwell

A Gate Unfastened

These words stopped me.

As I consider plowing through old journals.

I confess, my past endeavors to

"harvest" them have been unsettling.

I found little patience 

for my former self.

Barriers were erected.

Perhaps I need another review.

One from a more compassionate perspective.

Someone with less judgement

and more curiosity.

Less need for "perfection" (whatever that is).

Someone willing to saunter

rather than run;

to experience

rather than produce;

to accept 

rather than "fix".

kastilwell

 

Keeping The Peace

 This is a wakeup thought for someone 

who defers to "harmony" automatically, 

unconsciously, even. 

The programming is deep.

Turn the page.

Start fresh. 

Take up space!

Speak up even while shaking.

kastilwell

Underground River

 I am convinced this "invisible river" of gold exists.

While the outer world shouts and incites,

the inner world nourishes and grows.

Kindness flourishes.

Decency strengthens.

Fairness thrives.

Mutual respect multiplies.

Goodness endures.

A sincere and heartfelt thanks to you

for being present in my world.

kastilwell

Boundaries

 Considering this carefully.

A short statement carrying a

mighty impact.

Most helpful as one 

contemplates their boundaries.

kastilwell

Nature is More

 I would add (wo)man to Lord Byron's words.  

Otherwise he nails it for me. 

The "pathless woods", the "lonely shore",

these are the places of wonder for me.

They are also places of accompaniment.

As if invisible friends walk with me.

May nature accompany you today.

kastilwell

Lightmaking

 This book, The Lightmaker's Manifesto, is so practical.  

There are so many times,

my friends and I say, 

"I want to do something but I don't know what."  

This is the roadmap to figuring out 

what each of us can do to contribute to our world in a positive way.  

If your love language is cooking...cook!  

If your love language is digging in the dirt, dig!  

The key is to find a way to do it for others 

as well as yourself without becoming burned out.  

There are creative ways to contribute.  

kastilwell

Love Affair

 I couldn't wait to share this after hearing it for the first time.

It is provocative and inviting.

To simply be who I am in whatever state I find myself?

That is indeed new and foreign territory.

It makes me wonder if "I" and "myself" 

even speak the same language.

It has opened up an entirely new way

of approaching the moments

 of confusion,

frustration,

incoherence.

Discovering who I am beneath

all the layers of programming?

What an adventure!

KAStilwell

Fear of Dying

This prompts me to take a look

at where I hold back 

with loved ones,

with the work of writing,

with all sorts of potential endeavors.

It seems a worthy exploration.

KAStilwell

 

Unnamed Has Value

 Many times in the recent past, I have found myself incoherent 

when attempting to describe something within.

It's caused humiliation and shame.

A failure to verbalize something with language

 another can understand

seems imperative for someone 

who attempts to write.

It was encouraging to come across this quote

and consider another way of seeing it.

By the way, the forest is golden these days.

It’s a forest of gold in autumn.

It’s a forest of cold and chilly and clear 

on this seventh day of November.

It speaks a parable to the beauty in dying.  

This dying process, 

done in color 

is a harbinger of new life.

A testimony to letting go… 

to the spiral of life...

to resurrection.

To the ever trust-worthy return of the light 

even after the most entrenched darkness. 

The earth is embracing me in this forest of gold.

Reminding me how astonishingly beautiful dying can be.

As astonishingly beautiful as living itself.

Gazing into the sun is too much 

for these human eyes.

(I’m blinded by the light 

yet I receive new sight). 

I require a buffer 

to view its reflection

To witness its presence within 

and among the shadows.

Sometimes its best to turn away

and know it glows behind me.

What a treasure, 

this morning with 

the shadows and the light, 

accompanying, 

reminding, 

restoring, 

redeeming.

kastilwell

Cultivate Sleep and Play

I'm surprised how difficult this concept is to absorb.

Even though I wholeheartedly agree

with the wisdom of this sentiment,

I confess to feeling a twinge of intimidation

when I encounter someone

who seems to be super busy, apparently productive,

always active and involved with many endeavors.

Then I remind myself,

first of all, not to compare,

and second of all,

it's what's under the surface 

and behind the scenes

that matters.

The simple truth is:

bodies need rest and rejuvenation

to operate as they're designed to. 

Just like our earth does.  

kastilwell

 

Creative Transparency

For me, this is an ideal to strive toward. 

(At my age, I best get moving!)

I wonder if anyone is ever truly there?

Brené Brown comes to mind but

I know from reading her interviews,

it's a struggle, even for her. 

The truth is, we're all doing

the best we can.

And that's an achievement.

kastilwell

 

Nothing Wrong With Me

 I respectfully offer this quote 

while acknowledging the differences

of human experience and history.

It seems to me, this is a shared sentiment

among many human creatures.

May we "unlearn the patterns,

embody new behaviors,

and heal the wounds."

May we support each other

on this expedition.

kastilwell

Mothering

Mothering means so much more

than birthing children.

Same goes for fathering.

Creating new things. 

Bringing ideas to life.

Sowing seeds and planting saplings.

Tending to homes and gardens, 

friends and neighbors,

creative endeavors.

Parenting yourself!

Tending to yourself.

Growing.

Teaching.

Mentoring.

Coaching.

The list goes on.

Bringing something into existence

with your whole heart and soul

whether quietly or noisily

is a gift given to the world.

It doesn't have to be visible 

to be tangible.

kastilwell

 

 

Old Trees Nurture The Young Ones

Isn't this an amazing and beautiful fact?

It warms my heart in a myriad of ways.

kastilwell

 

Extraordinary Generosity

 The majesty of these words takes my breath away.

May I find my way on the path of my life tapped into the 

"necessary wisdom of nature

with its quiet agreements and search for balance."  

kastilwell

Alone

How do I inhabit my silence?

What is my own particular way?

It's an interesting exercise to observe myself

in times of aloneness.

Sometimes laced with uneasiness.

Other times embraced wholeheartedly with gratitude.

May I find the way to a more

virtuoso solitude.

kastilwell

 

Courage in Spite of Despair

 Even when the despair is not life threatening,

this is still valid, I believe.  

kastilwell

Attune to Your Own Learning Process

Talk about "spot on"!

My decades are littered 

with attempts to do things..

ie: learn French, learn to draw,

play piano, write a memoir.

Now I am determined

to actually do something.

It's going to take some attuning!

kastilwell

 

Everything We Need

 May we find the faith,

patience 

and the courage

to live into this truth.

Cheers to inner space explorers.

kastilwell

What Scares Us

 Unsettling for sure!

But worthy of consideration.

Courage is required when boots are quaking.

The Quaking (or Trembling) Aspens come to mind.

Seems like the ideal companion!

kastilwell

Closer To Mystery

Seeing and feeling the world around me.

Focusing my attention on 

what my body is experiencing.

Instead of what my mind is thinking about.  

Asking questions rather than making assumptions.

kastilwell

 

Living Life Creatively

 What I'm asking myself in response:

What places and questions am I turning away from?

How can I make one tiny step toward them?

Getting quiet, aware and open hearted

is what I hear from within.

Focus on what is most alive inside.

Lean toward love...always.

kastilwell

Concentration

I am making a vow to "hold a steady course, ... 

and "pass through the layers of restless distraction"

by concentrating on the writing projects 

I've been gestating for the past several years.

I am chagrined at how many have past.

In light of this, these posts may

 be sporadic for awhile.

kastilwell

Kissing the Earth

 I feel like this was written

specifically for me.

For some reason

I cannot explain,

I automatically feel

an unconscious need to rush.

Slowing down and

being aware of the contact

I'm making on the earth 

takes practice.

I welcome the change.

kastilwell

Experiments

 Wouldn't it be something to stop correcting life?

To live in awe and wonder at the experiment

of each and every living creature?

To recognize the universe within 

every one of us? 

It makes my brain feel small.

kastilwell

Half Reality

 "Addicted to upbeat niceness?"

"A sanitized half-reality?"

These thoughts caused a jolt.

First a jolt of denial

followed by the rueful recognition

of the possibility it holds an element of truth.

The unknown is scary.

I believe we are all learning to live

our best selves amidst the

clamor of uncertainty and chaos.

Using "upbeat niceness"

is a coping mechanism.

(It's preferable to tantrums and bullying.)

Perhaps it is a graceful awkwardness

we are developing?  

A "leaning in" to courage?

kastilwell

 

What Is Good For The World

What is good for the world?

A potent question worthy of consideration.

The outlook looks grim

but the seemingly impossible

has happened before.

May we learn our lessons

and find our way.

kastilwell

.

 

Clear Your Path

 May your storms be brief.

May the path they clear bring joy and peace.

May you find refuge in your storms.

And amazement along your path.

May all of life turn us toward 

justice, decency and fairness.

kastilwell

We Are A Symphony

 Each time I catch myself

unconsciously needing 

to DO something;

to PRODUCE something,

to ACCOMPLISH something,

I want to pause and remember

there are other dimensions

to a human life.

I want to explore them

even when they're awkward

and strange feeling.

Ruts are so boring!

kastilwell

Growing

What an encouraging sentiment.

I'd much rather grow than get old.

Growing is preferable to aging

although aging is a fine exercise

if done with humble grace

and good humor.

Since it's unavoidable,

we may as well accept and enjoy.

kastilwell

 

Your Body Holds Truth

 After I encountered this thought,

I was treated to a helpful experience.

I was walking in the darkness of predawn.

When I was "in" my body, 

I was aware and in tune with where and who I was.

When I diverted to look at my iPhone screen,

I quickly found myself seriously

"off course", on the verge of falling into the ditch.

I now carry this with me as a reminder. 

kastilwell

De'sir

 This is worthy of robust consideration.

Each phrase a meditation.

A contemplation,

Perspective provides insight. 

Thoughts matter.

kastilwell

Nebulous Ideas

 The key is believing in yourself.

Let's keep practicing this one!

kastilwell

Imagination Helps Us Consider

 What might lie beyond the boundaries?

That is a giant question 

both intriguing and terrifying

at the same time.

I would prefer if creativity

came with a little less discomfort.

Then I think of the chrysalis...

the caterpillar melted into soup...

to emerge a magnificent butterfly.

It gives me a bit of courage.

kastilwell

Creativity Time

 While fantasy and daydreams 

are not my usual forte',

I certainly have time that is 

slow, careless and unstructured.

The only trouble is

I keep speeding it up

trying to be careful

and applying structure!

This thought is

tattoo material!

kastilwell

Imagine Another World

by Arundhati Roy

There is such hope in these words.  Hope and truth.

I want to "walk through lightly, packing light, 

ready to imagine a more just world.  

kastilwell