Facing the "Other Within"

it can only begin at the root within each individual

This message keeps on repeating in many different voices.

it is therefore in this small and most private of territories

that the potential for a truly humane society begins.

Bringing the focus into my relationship with myself 

and my nearest and most intimate relations,

brings me to a place where I don't feel quite so powerless.

It helps me see how each small gesture I make toward

decency and dignity, forgiveness and mercy matter.

I can make a difference within my own individual self,

in my own personal home and in my neighborhood

where there are those I don't even know and

those I have dismissed as "other".

This is where I can actually do something.

Namaste'

 

One Of The Most Incredible Things

This is wonderful news to realize.

It is also, I have found, a mighty responsibility.

It's so darn easy to lose sight of it in the heavy onslaught

of opinions and judgements from the outside world.

What "they" consider to be a success so easily worms its way

into your subconscious, polluting your own ideas and tainting your beliefs.

I'm still working relentlessly to free myself from 

the myriad of messages I unknowingly picked up 

from peer groups, magazine ads, TV, and so on.

And this was long before social media was a thing.

I admire the people I know who seem to have found their own way

through this hubbub of messages to determine the meaning they live by.

Namaste'

 

It Could All Be

 "amazing to rejoice in every offering life throws our way."

Even though it may feel somewhat schizophrenic 

to find joy in the midst of suffering and loss, it does 

feel like the most radical and revolutionary and subversive act to take.

Marshaling our forces to find the strength to open up to all the pain

AND every particle of joy is a life's true ambition. 

Namaste'

Entangled

"...the importance of becoming more not less entangled with our local ecosystem."

This line has haunted me since first reading it some time ago.

Rereading the chapter called The Ecology of Strangers in

How To Do Nothing by Jenny Odell

has roused the ghost again.  

Finding the sweet spot on the tight rope between

solitude and conviviality is where I find myself these days.

I like the idea of being a person as fluid and changeable as a river

AND as steadfast, slow moving and observant as a boulder.

Namaste'

 

I Discovered For Myself

One might think its a piece of cake to be yourself, right… 

intensely yourself even, right?

I love the steps offered for this process:

"Don't try to be outstanding; 

don't try to be a success; 

don't try to do pictures 

for others to look at -"

Talk about taking a rebellious stance in this world of social media! 

Especially for those of us who learned to 

adjust ourselves to the needs and opinions and approval

of those in our orbit who matter to us; sometimes losing touch

with our own intense self in the process?  

It's a worthy prescription, I'm thinking, and well worth the extreme focus

called for to become our own intense self. 

Namaste'

 

Caught In A Long Cycle of Forgetfulness

This feels painfully true to me.

The more I ponder and observe, the more I believe dedication to our Earth

contains the way for humanity to prosper, if only we'll listen and learn and act.

Many strong and eloquent voices have said and are saying this.

Yet, here we are, in what looks and feels like one fine mess.  

Each one of us doing our best but still participating in a system out of alignment.

What to do?  

All we can.  Every small step matters. Every thought matters.  

We can continue to contribute to the movement 

of recalibration and positive evolution.

We can add our particular and unique ingredients to the mix.

We can continue to imagine a just and compassionate world.

We are in this together. 

I keep coming back to these lyrics from Leonard Cohen.

"I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that time cannot erase.

I'm junk but I'm still holding up this little wild bouquet"

Except I'd rewrite it a bit.

"We're stubborn as those garbage bags, which time cannot erase.

We've junked it up but we're still holding on to this amazing wild bouquet."

Namaste' 

 

You Who Let Yourself Feel

"Fear not the pain. Let its weight fall back into the earth"

Over 6000 miles away, people just like us are living a nightmare.

I've been aware of my avoidance of this piece of our reality.

This morning, I started to share another poem* with vivid descriptions of horrors

  in solidarity to these fellow inhabitants on this planet.  

I decided against it because, it seems to me, as a human being, 

we are wounded by this whether we acknowledge it or not.

Whether we let ourselves feel it or not; it's still imposing itself into our spirits.

I decided this piece is more relevant because it speaks to the paradox

and the complexity of the situation.

"You who let yourself feel: enter the breathing that is more than your own.

Let it brush your cheeks as it divides and rejoins beside you."

Namaste'

* Echoes

 

The Most Important Thing We Can Bring

 The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are.

It's gratifying to remember this.  I often feel compelled to find something to say when a conversation lags.

It's helpful to remember offering my silent acceptance is a loving response.

Giving others the time and space to say something is also a gift.  

When I force myself to keep quiet through a pause, especially when on the phone,

it's always a thrill to hear someone more reserved in nature utter something unexpected.

It reminds me to practice listening beyond my own thoughts when in conversation with others.

Namaste'

In My Heart

...how vocal cords vibrating in a hot wind can reach a harmony that pleases, 

even in dissonance.

For some reason I can't explain, this thought deeply appeals to me.

I love the idea of reaching harmony that pleases in dissonance.

I hope to persevere like plants, sprout where I don't belong,

drag my faltering body and foggy mind to look at the moon 

returning in steadfast reliability; growing in slow, graceful stages 

from invisible to full on brightness

time after time after time.  

Namaste'

 

I Believe There Is A Mass Awakening

When Leonard Cohen's song Democracy happened across my path yesterday I knew it was time to share this quote.  I was struck by how encouraging it was. 

If you have the time, give it a listen.

No one has the answers but we all have ideas and 

if these ideas are good-they won't go away. 

Democracy is a good idea.  I feel that in every molecule of my body. 

It needs improvements and updating but, in the words of Maggie Smith, its got good bones. 

So as Leonard sings; ...I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that time cannot decay. I'm junk but I'm still holding up this little wild bouquet. Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

Sail On, Sail On oh mighty ship of state. To the Shores of Need. Past the Reefs of Greed

Through the Squalls of Hate Sail on, sail on, sail on...

kastilwell

 

A Signal To Humanity

Even a relatively small, white orb can blot out a powerful giant.

This thought gives me goosebumps. Its a mighty image to carry forward.

Take notice of the little things...Give shelter if you're mighty.

It is immensely encouraging to witness how many of us are doing just this.

May our world be overflowing with our relatively small white orbs blotting out

unnecessary giants bearing ill will!!

Thanks to Angela for today's thought that matters.

Namaste'

 

Life is Tragic

So until the sun goes down for the last, last time,

I plan to confront with passion the conundrum of life.

And that conundrum consists of allowing my small beacon

to understand the terrifying darkness has much to reveal.

To learn how to navigate the conglomeration of confusion

especially when the darkness is most terrifying, trusting I

will discover exactly what I need for each small step along the way.

I choose to be responsible for seeking beauty and goodness 

even in the deepest dark of despair.

kastilwell

 

 

Perceptual Space

The nothing from upon which all something's emerge.

I have begun to play a game with myself about perception.  When I'm playing, I'm considering different viewpoints; moving around the subject in various ways to see how my position changes the way it looks. Zoom out to eternity or use a macro lens to see the intricacy and complexity of what lies under the surface.  It's an interesting exercise. 

No matter which position I take, there is somewhere I cannot see...

I have learned it's best to wait until some distinguishable form appears, or doesn't.  

Sometimes it's as if "nothing" is there, sometimes it's extremely delicate and subtle, 

and sometimes it pours out as if from nowhere like a river into the ocean 

leaving you filled with amazement.

kastilwell

 

The Human Eye

I stand convicted of being blind, most of the time,

to the subtle world that dwells between things.

Right now, I wasn't seeing the space between myself and the door and everything within that area of "emptiness".  Even what's here between my eyes and the screen where I'm typing these words is part of a "blind spot".  Considering it causes my "boundaries" to go all topsy turvy.  

It opens vistas to ponder and explore.  Raises many questions; for example, where are my thoughts, exactly? Is that subtle world where our best selves exist?  A place where we could heal much of the world's division?  I'm going to be contemplating the space between for the rest of my days.

kastilwell

 

Hope Locates Itself

 In the spaciousness of uncertainty is the room to act.

This is an important thought for the vast uncertainty of today.

We cannot let ourselves give in to despair and we cannot assume all will be well.

Somewhere in the middle of those two poles is where we can do whatever is in our reach 

to tip things in favor of goodness and fairness.  

Leaning into the uncertainty rather than hiding away from it is hard.

Continuing to resist what is wrong is hard, especially when nothing seems to improve.

We make tiny shifts with every action we take no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

We keep on doing what's right for the earth.

We keep on writing letters or making phone calls.

We keep on showing up with even our silent presence.

We keep on speaking out when given the opportunity.

We keep on doing what we can in our community to show kindness and compassion.

We listen to our inner voices of guidance to discern the next small step.

We're not alone.  We're in this together.  

namaste'.

Love Song

What a delightful view of crows and what an interesting example of how

easy it can be to see/hear only the loud (and somewhat obnoxious) side of things

and miss the tender, gentle crooning happening quietly in the vicinity.

I'm gathering this very close to my troubled heart today with deep grief 

for all those who suffer horrific violence as a result of the failure of human beings

 to see each other as equal and deserving of dignity and decency. 

 

 

Crows

I love how Mary Oliver goes from the wild outside

to the wild inside where we have the opportunity to ponder deep questions.

Has the wind, for years, been talking to me as well?

What do I hear when I listen to the wind?

I give my respect to Indigenous peoples of this world.

Namaste'

 

Melancholy

(I never noticed until right now that melancholy ends with holy.)

For most of my life, I've rejected feeling blue. It felt like a failure of some kind;

like I didn't have what it took to be cheerful and upbeat. 

In typical binary thinking, I believed I could only feel one or the other.  

Now I understand feeling happy AND sad all braided together is pretty much the usual 

for human's being true to themselves and the world around us.  

Teach Me The Dark

This is such deliciously beautiful wordplay containing many examples of the 

nuances and power of darkness. It makes me dizzy with its immensity.

The mighty dark inside the fist...the vastness of limitless space that links with no effort the everything that is, the everything that ever was, and the everything that ever will be.  

It's like slow dancing with a complete stranger in a locked room. 

I'm thinking of the darkness of the womb from which every person emerges, the darkness inside our physical body where the cells, tissues, organs and systems keeping us alive work away in constant darkness.  We are born out of it and we will return to it upon our death. That alone causes a strong pause. The thoughts coming out of my mind are coming out of darkness.  

As I said earlier, its a life long contemplation.   And then to consider the darkness that's been terrorized by light and the dark that's been pushed away and all the dark that's been feared. Whew!

May we learn its valor, its ferocity, its kindness, its gentleness and its blinding generosity.

May the darkness in me acknowledge and merge with the darkness in you.

Notes On The Below

This fits perfectly after Sophie Strand's pieces about the underworld. I will say this

endless plummet into more of the unknown gives me shivers at the wonder of it.  What's it like to be always night? That's an entire lifetime of contemplation, isn't it?  To not even need the light?

I can only envy that at a distance.  A couple or more days of gray are enough to get me twitchy. I can't even imagine living without it.  Yet, it's apparently a thing.  Here on this amazing planet there are life forms existing in total darkness.  There's something reassuring about knowing this.  Life happens even in total darkness. It strengthens hope in me.

Namaste'

 

A Whole New Branch of Life

I knew this world was intricate and complex beyond my capacity to understand.

This information confirms that and then some.  Bacteria alive in 3.5 million year old Basalt?

The earth's interior breathing?  There is a small creek in the forest adjacent to our house

where the flow pulses like a heartbeat.  I call it the pulse of the planet.  Perhaps in some way,

its echoing the deep interior beneath?  

Living Deeply

This is about deep and dark which are sometimes places we tend to avoid. I know I've been taught to associate them with what's bad or undesirable. However, once I move past my bias's and assumptions, I'm finding myself fascinated. To consider that "plenty of life never sees the sunlight" opens up a whole area I know nothing about. It fills me with astonishment and awe and appreciation for what exists and thrives in the deep, dark world below the surface.  

kastilwell