Melancholy

(I never noticed until right now that melancholy ends with holy.)

For most of my life, I've rejected feeling blue. It felt like a failure of some kind;

like I didn't have what it took to be cheerful and upbeat. 

In typical binary thinking, I believed I could only feel one or the other.  

Now I understand feeling happy AND sad all braided together is pretty much the usual 

for human's being true to themselves and the world around us.