Solar

Thomas Centolella, Solar from Views From Along the Middle Way

I must be the sun.

I... must be the one

This is no small ask...it makes me realize

how much I want someone else 

to pick up that torch

and carry it for or with me.  

I don't want to be the only one 

to do the heavy lifting.

I must be the one to simmer

in the piquant juices of possibility,

though the ingredients are unknown.

For some reason I cannot explain

this feels slightly easier and more doable.

Not that it's without its downside...

it requires staying with possibility 

through thick and thin...not relinquishing it,

most especially when things seem grim and foreboding.

I must issue forth a warmth

without discrimination, and any guarantee

it will come back to me.

This may be a step too far...being the light

has to bring at least an infinitesimal measure

of satisfaction. No one else has to know.

The person glowing needs a tidbit or two or three

 in order to continue shining.

I have to be at the very least

one stray intact ray

of local energy, one small

but critical fraction

of illumination. 

Being our most authentic

messy and magnificent self,

in whatever setting we're in

IS being the light. 

We're already shining.

I have to shine as if

sorry life itself depended on it.

I wouldn't call life sorry...although,

reading history, I might be tempted to

call human life sorry...for the ways

we treat each other and our home.

Regardless of the drawbacks, 

I consider life, in all its grift and glory

a gift of amazing proportions.

 

We Don't Talk About War

It's hard to read words describing what

our sisters and brothers are living through.

The danger they are experiencing breaks my heart.

"We say we are fine, as if silence can keep us safe."

May it keep them safe...and may the silence

one day be made audible in a poem

so others can witness their troubles

and send empathy and compassion

to them over the invisible air waves

that join us all.

The sorrow is huge.

As is our caring and our hope

for an end to their suffering.

 

Little Hope

It feels very pertinent to 

"need a clean hard rain to wash away the world's troubles..."

We also need this clean hard rain to fill out rivers and streams...

to nourish our plants and trees...

isn't it wonderful that we benefited from this current "hard rain"?

May "hope itself gather in puddles overnight".

How I'd love to see giant puddles of water and hope

where children (and adults) can splash and play.

 

The Sea In Me

(editted 2026)

 

Deep Peace

This is my wish for you today and every day....

along with a weekend of moments satisfying to the bone.

 

Every Shade of Necessary

Every fiber of my being leans into this...

wants this to be the state of things...

here and now...in every molecule 

breathing on this earth...

in the universe.

"How we need to begin fresh."

As much as I want to blame one person, 

or one group, or one "other" who isn't me,

when I do so, I lose the thread...

what if I were to pick it up;  tie a tiny knot and begin again 

to drop seeds of kindness everywhere, especially where

I am most reluctant to do so...especially in the

unkind places living inside me? 

Pat them on the head and repeat, 

"I get where you're coming from but

there's a better way."

"let us place the word precious on every single thing."

What if I were to begin to do this?

Attach the word precious to my rage, 

appreciate my heartaches,  every fear, 

every unkind thought and action,

every burning desire for revenge,

recognizing each as a misplaced kindness,

a misguided act borne out of love?

An opportunity 

to make a U turn, and begin fresh?

 

When I Stop Comparing

"When I stop comparing and 

allow myself to be ordinary...

I taste a piece of eternity."

May the grace of no comparing (or competition)

be bestowed upon me...for they are deeply

etched into my psyche.  I wish I could

reach in and unravel them from 

their tightly woven pattern

in the neural pathways of my brain.

I wish there was a tool or an app for this.

"...by accepting the assignment,

which is to beautify and repair

our own small corner of the world."

How's this for a reason to keep things tidy?

At least reasonably well cared for.

The biggest challenge for me is 

knowing what to repurpose in some way 

and what to discard because discarding

feels like damaging Mother Earth.

"...I am stained...with the evidence 

of my delight in these daily rituals

that can never be washed away,

the ordinary being at least one

gateway to the holy."

I love, love, love the belief that

the ordinary is a gateway to the holy.

Especially as I've been known to grumble

inwardly about some of these "daily rituals".

I've also breathed giant sighs of graitude

for others, like this one, that enhance

my life in countless, invisible ways.

Note: Crew's poem brings this quote to mind.

“Eternalism is the belief that everything that is, has been, 

and will be exists right now and forever, all at once. 

Presentism is the belief that only what exists in the present exists at all.”

― Lily King

 

Be Yourself

Aren't we something?

So ridiculous and amazing all at the same time?

Who in heck is doing all the heavy lifting?

Let us train our sights on the beauty so often

lost in the absurd of it all.  

Put yourself first/Don't be self absorbed.

You are a tiny, tiny, tiny drop in an endless ocean/

You are everything and everywhere. 

A see saw of opposites forever shifting...

back and forth; up and down, inside and out.

I'm doing my best to enjoy the ride since

I won't be getting out alive.

There has to be at least as much to smile about 

as there is to weep over, right?

Spinning wheat into gold, 

is my course of action

for as long as I'm here and 

my spinner is functioning.

 

The Rage You Are Feeling

It sometimes feels as though rage 

is the only item in my backpack, these days.

At least, it lives very close to the top of the heap...

igniting at the most innocent of happenings.

Continually reminding myself of this could

save much turmoil and unnecessary heartache

caused by misguided emotional outbursts toward innocents.

There are alternatives...going numb being first in that lineup;

which we all know is no real solution.

How do you tiptoe gently into rage?

How do you let yourself feel the full fury

without being consumed by it?

How do you stand in the center of the volcano

without destroying yourself and others?

"You have known hope and joy and kindness

like you have known water and justice

is a river [who] demainds you do not give up on it."

 

Questions

 

I Will Not Wave A Flag

This is long....

worthwhile if you have the time available to slow down and read.

"Beyond attachment to flag and country, beyond identity and faith,

...here we are swimming in the one pool of possibility,

made from the one cell."

I can lose this mindset so easily.  Before I realize it, I'm

this label, and this label and that category...I do it to myself!

"I am, first, a citizen of the heart dwelling in the house of flesh."

All of us simply breathing, bleeding bodies living out whatever time and place

we landed in on this planet...sharing the same air, the same water,

the same ground, the same universe.

"If you insist on waving a flag, let it be exceptional in its width. 

In the eyes of [the Unknown] there are no favorites.

...Forget superiority and comparison."

It means including everyone and everything.

Why do I find that so unappealing...at least on one level...

very appealing on another, but darn...people need to learn how

to treat each other properly...with dignity, ideally, or if not...with decency.

"If you insist on having an identity, let it be of bone and blood. 

Let your song be equal parts praise and grief, and awe. 

How I love the recipe for singing as 

equal parts praise, grief and awe.

Mine wants to be gratitude, sorrow, and astonishment.

PS:  Hats off to you if you made it through this entire piece.  

No worries if you didn't.  

May the Force be with you always.

 

The Saddest Thing

"...stuffing the things that make you most you."

I'm fortunate to be in the company of people who do no such thing.

They are wise and open and themselves in all their messy glory

and it is beautiful.

"leaving the mud, the soil, the seeds, the sea of what's here."

This is where they live. 

River people, seed people, bird people, plant people, book people,

warm hearted, compassionate, generous and kind.

Luxuriating in all of it.

"...holding in the holy rather than letting it breathe..."

The holy is a warm breeze surrounding them, 

like a cloud emitting a fragrance of fresh air and flowers, 

It is a pleasure to be in their company.

 

I Grow Tired

"Now is the time for foolish hope, for outrageous courage, 

for a belief that each of us holds a piece of the rope to freedom

if only we would tug it in earnest."

Oh for a rope...an actual rope, hanging within reach...

within literal reach for our weary earnest tugs...

I'd settle for a gong we could all sound simultaneously...

Our vote is our tug on that rope...

our vote is our sounding of the gong...

"...to rage against these feeble tyrants,

...until the water flows calm and even once more

over the face or the earth."

Call out to whoever or whatever you believe in...

or don't believe in...

that they may contribute to our cause.

Together we are a mighty force.

It's time for a recalibration.

 

Instructions Before Visiting Earth

"If you ever need guidance, simply slow down

your busy mind and bring your awareness

to the quiet place inside yourself."

I might remark that "simply" may be a stretch.

"Cling to nothing too tightly, even yourself,

and when its time to let go, let go with grace,

for nothing is owned, only borrowed."

Determining when its time to let go 

takes on new proportions as one 

ripens and begins to experience

the stark reality of what "letting go" 

requires of us. 

"Don't make a mess."

If you do make a mess, 

for heaven's sake,

 have the courtesy and decency 

to clean it up.

"You'll never get out alive and

time passes quickly."

Amen and Awomen to that!  

 

The Day Mary Oliver Died

Finally got a chance to watch the documentary on Mary Oliver this week.

How do you begin to thank someone who has brought such goodness into our world?

Listening to young students talk about what her poetry meant to them

was one of the most moving moments, among many.  She was truly remarkable.

"How would the sharp praise of her voice shape that long, 

slow exhale of becoming what so astonished her?"

May we keep her words alive in our hearts.

 

How Guarded Is Your Heart?

 

Still Safe

"I am still a container, not a spill."

Good heaven's, it is disturbing to consider what 

some people are going through simply to live on this planet.

"...holding my breath to see if the air is still mine."

To live with such precarious circumstances 

lives only in my imagination...or it did until I read these words.

"Human's are the only things here that aren't made of stone."

Wasn't sure I agreed until I realized, I'm not where the author is...

it might very well be true where she is "subtracting the minutes

she's lived from what is left.".  

 

What A Human Most Needs

"a knowledge of the most (s)he can do without,

and of how to get along without it."

This quote got me through some "without" times

in unexpected and appreciated ways, recently,

and I was grateful to have read it when I did.

We are so groomed to obtain whatever we need...

not much thought goes into doing without.

Although there are those who do not have the choices

some of us enjoy and that number seems to be growing larger.

Wendell Berry has my respect and admiration for the legacy 

he's left behind.  Rest in Power, indeed.

 

Bound For Glory

 "we are feminists because we dream of being fully human."

Honoring Gloria's life and what she accomplished.

Frayed and Nibbled Survivor

Aren't we all "frayed and nibbled survivors in a fallen world"?

On this Equinox, a day of equal light and dark,

I dedicate this post to Annie Dillard who put

words together in stunning arrangements

of complicated and unexpected beauty.

"I am not washed and beautiful, in control of

a shining world where everything fits, but instead 

am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for..."

every word speaks of reverence for the magnificence of our Earth

in all its tattered glory.

May this Autumn Equinox bring us closer

to actual equality for all.

 

Let It All In

 Let It All In

Let it all in

the habitual scurrying thoughts 

about how best to use this time 

the space heater warming the chilled air 

of this October morning.

the facebook post remembering my brother 

absent on earth since 2017..dead at age 47

My mother's sister...left earth yesterday

a few days short of her 99th birthday.

Let it all in.

the stack of books awaiting my eyes

the pile of yarn awaiting needles and my fingers 

the watercolor supplies for the online painting lessons 

with my daughters and granddaughters. 

the candle softly swaying in the corner in the center of 

my circle of women sculpture 

next to the "wild unknown" tarot cards

today's card is "the storm"

yesterday's was "the thread"

Let it all in.

the thoughts still scurrying 

although calmer now 

the lightening sky...

no vivid colors of sunrise 

rather a soft steady dispelling of the darkness 

revealing the autumn colors of the trees 

alive on Black Mountain across the pasture... 

the chipmunk hoovering the bird seed 

strewn on the deck railing...for the birds.

Let it all in

 the email from my sisters 

the text from a nephew

Heather's email spelling out the state of our country...

her words a grim reminder of ugly forces

Rosemerry Trommer's daily poem

"Because Last Night I Dreamed of You" 

her words a marvel to my soul

My own post about "joy strewn everywhere"

Let it all in

The river of life alive in my mind... 

carrying me places I have yet to discover.

I don't want to miss one moment of it 

even as it slips so swiftly away 

leaving traces and fragments 

carrying me perpetually forward 

with or without my regard.

KAStilwell 2022