God Just Is

 As someone who is heavily conflicted about the notion of "God";

Butler's character presented me with even more material.

It's one I'm still gnawing on.

This quote is a sample. 

She has much to say on the matter throughout

her Earthseed series.

kastilwell

The Sound of Silence

 

A deep reverence for silence must have been seeded in me from birth. 

(It could also be growing up in a chaotic household where noise was constant.)

Chapels and churches, reiki rooms, meditation circles and solo walks in the forest

formed me into someone who relishes the deep quiet 

of solitude, early morning, and a silent night.

These days I’m contemplating another kind of silence.  

The silence described in the Sound of Silence, 

written by Paul Simon… 

(One of the most exquisite poems I’ve encountered.) 

I was introduced to Simon & Garfunkel 

in the mid sixties when my mother

brought home their album, 

Dangling Conversations,

from a retreat she attended.

My dad and I spent many hours

playing the album over and over

in order to decipher the lyrics.

I've been a fan of their music/poetry ever since.

A friend recently referred me to

a version of The Sound of Silence

which sent shivers up and down my skeleton.

That silence is a different silence altogether. 

It’s the stagnant silence of apathy, numbness, trauma and deep fear. 

Those seeds have been planted within me as well. 

Can the silence of apathy and stagnation and fear 

walk hand-in-hand with the silence 

of the chapel, of meditation, of exquisite solitude? 

 Perhaps we are in need of two new words. 

One for the silence of well-being, comfort and solace. 

The other for the silence of trepidation, terror, and oppression.

How about scared silence and sacred silence?

kastilwell

Words on the Lip

This has me pondering

the shape and texture

and feel 

of words.

I confess to a certain 

lack of attention

 to the energy

of a word.

Perhaps this is because

reading and writing

is a silent endeavor.

Hearing and speaking

is not.

It's reordering my perspective

on the written AND 

on the spoken word.

Beguiling to the ear?

Beautiful to the eye?

All of the above.

kastilwell

Think on a Larger Scale

I checked and this quote was attributed to Cherokee Billie.

Changing perspective can liven things up.

Moving the focus closer in is also helpful.

kastilwell

 

Rooted in Quiet

https://www.victoriaerickson.com/

 

I had a quote from Maxwell Maltz all ready to send

and abandoned it as it was not enhancing confidence.

This one is much better!

It brings to mind a particular teacher friend

whose quiet confidence is an ongoing inspiration.

I am grateful for her quietly rooted presence in my life.

kastilwell

Words Describing Functions

I had to look up common scold.

The definition is here.

It's fascinating to consider

how certain words contain judgements

and stereotypes and programmed assumptions.

How some limit and diminish 

and others give undue prominence.  

Digging beneath the surface reveals much.

Who would have guessed words NOT appearing

in the dictionary carry a story of their own and a meaning?

kastilwell

 

Vulgar Word

 

This quote tickles me

as it is true in my experience.

(I confess to the frequent use of vulgar words;

to the horror of my daughters, 

who are raising their children 

NOT to use them.)

I'll never forget the first time 

we heard my mother 

"drop the F bomb",

as my brother chortled gleefully

upon hearing it.

The frequency of vulgarity today

in word and image has become so frequent

that it no longer carries the shock it once did.

I will do my best to be more judicious 

in my use of them.  

kastilwell

Tools of Resurrection

 This quote hit me like a bolt of lightening when I first heard it.  

It reverberates each time I've encountered it since.

What potent words make up the recipe

for renewing one's firelight for life?

Sometimes one's symphony

is one of profound silence.

It can feel like a death

when the words aren't there.

You have to trust their presence.

Invisible marks on invisible backgrounds.

You have to trust they will return.

In their own time.

You wait in joyful hope.

kastilwell

Whatever Makes You Feel Special?

 While Octavia Butler's books have been around for a while, 

they're new to me.

I'm not a fan of sci fi nor of 

dystopian stories.

However, her book, Parable of the Sower,

has given me much to think about,

amidst the hard, dark details of her fiction.  

I enjoy her inner questioning

and her thoughtful comments

on matters of god and religion,

human nature and human society. 

I'm glad I pushed past my reluctance.

I wanted to dismiss her 

but find it impossible to do so.

kastilwell

Change

It's quite stunning to me how true this is.

Now the question is, what kind of change

do I initiate with my touch?   

Does it enhance the good?

Does it build up or tear down?

Worthy pondering.

kastilwell

 

Spark of Madness

Even though the fact these are Robin William's words

adds an element of sadness, I believe

it is an important thought to consider

for every human.  

Everything in balance.  

kastilwell

Teachers All Around

 The older I get, the more I believe 

and do my best to adhere to this message.

It does raise a question regarding automatic responses.

Do they come from conditioning 

which calls for change?

Or do they come from innate knowing

which calls for trusting?

How does one tell the difference?

kastilwell

True Confidence Rooted In Quiet

https://www.victoriaerickson.com/

 

For someone who by default focuses 

on the loud and/or most active

people in a room,

(who could be loud due to 

LACK of confidence),

there's a lot to consider here.

It opens up an opportunity to practice

noticing the quiet people,

the gentle spirited folks.

Growing up in a large family

where a familiar refrain was

"the squeaky wheel gets the grease",

This is new territory. 

kastilwell 

Wear Your Thoughts

 As soon as I read this, I thought of my typical outfit...

pretty casual most days.  

What does that say about my thoughts?

I don't consider them casual.

I thought about how I tend toward 

neutral or sober colors.

Perhaps some brightening up 

is in order.  

I'm going to aim for

more "fashionable" thoughts.

It's a fun exercise.

kastilwell

Stop This Day and Night With Me

 

With all due respect to Mr. Whitman; 

I would say filter them FOR yourself; not from yourself.  

Living first hand is good advice, for sure, however, 

I want to say "feeding on the spectres in books"

has given me experiences only possible

through the written word and my imaginative reception.

I would not discount it. 

kastilwell   

What To Do?

 

Even in my skepticism, 

I find this reassuring.

Not knowing which way to go

is something I'm exquisitely familiar with.

I fear stagnation.

It comforts me to consider 

the constant questioning 

as my real journey.  

Can it be true?

kastilwell

Remind Them

 

This doesn't happen often but when it does, it unnerves me somewhat.

I often ask myself if my fierceness could be my meanness?

Nonetheless, it seems vital and necessary.

As a reminder to myself as well as to others.

Trampling on tender places

ignites the furies.

kastilwell

Love What You Have

 

This idea always reminds me of the interview I read/heard from a couple who survived the holocaust.  I don't remember their names or the exact quote but it was something about the

immense gift of sitting in their living room watching TV together.  The simple bliss of that ordinary, often mundane activity after what they'd been through.  It stays with me whenever I am feeling twitchy and unsettled about things.  kastilwell