In Your Own Rhythm

Isn't this an enchanting way to end the week?

Yes, things are falling apart right now in scary ways...

(I'm thinking of the caterpillar liquifying into a butterfly.)

These words give me great comfort and boost my resilience.

They help me let go of the fear I've missed out on something

as my days wind down and ripening deepens.

I have rushed through much of my life, I confess.

It would have been great to learn this lesson a wee bit earlier.

But I am going to take this sentiment to heart and believe

everything has been perfectly timed.

Namaste'

 

A Woman of a Certain Age

"To wipe away glossy apologies and 

wear no like the fiery red lip that it is."

I ADORE this line.

 I want to hug it tightly, 

throw my head back, and 

howl with glee.

From "dripping peach to zested lemon"? 

I'm ok with that. 

As I'm ok with "scalding when swallowed";

especially if its the truth after a gluttony of lies.

Making the world sputter and choke on the secrets 

I'm no longer keeping?

Hmmm...I think I'll keep some of my secrets for the time being.

"Burning the script is an option".

"Forgetting the whole damn story" is not.

However,

"exposing the well-guarded truth 

that youth does not equal beauty"?

That's the sweetest exposition of all.

"Diving headfirst into my own desire" is 

ridiculously appealing however,

these days, there's a need and a duty

for protecting and preserving

dignity and decency...

figuring out how to merge the two

is the bull's eye of my days.

So, my friends and comrades...

"wipe away your glossy apologies

and wear no like the fiery red lip that it is"!!

We're in this together!

Namaste'

 

Oh, You Forced Yourself

I get a kick out of this.

It's good to get a moment of comic relief.

Yes, a party sounds delightful.  

Even if its a party of one...

off somewhere playing at something fun...

but, lord no, don't call John Calvin.  

Namaste'

 

When The Caterpillar

"She completely liquifies her body

and rebuilds herself from scratch.

It is a messy, violent, chaotic process."

Could that be what is going on with America?

Are we in the chrysalis?

I shudder at the word violent, yet,

 there's no question it's part of it.

And then there's "done in silence and secrecy"?

It might be a matter of perspective. 

I'm thinking the caterpillar isn't feeling 

like what's happening is silent or secret.

Nor does she care.  

She's all up in it...consumed (literally) by the process.

Indeed, may we "survive our metamorphosis!

Namaste'

 

In The End

I realize I've shared several of Anderson's quotes in the past;

(crypto means hidden...I didn't know that.) 

His way of mixing metaphors 

between earth and human appeals to me.

Try changing the first three sentences to present tense.

Does it make a difference?

I'm asking myself what love and knowledge I'm

setting in motion...trying to be more cognizant of this.

Saturday, at the No Kings rally, some folks drove by

and made unfriendly gestures. I felt myself getting riled up.

 A young boy in front of me called "we love you" in response. 

I was struck by how quickly my internal weather changed.

It was like the sun came out after a cold, dreary day.

 Then a man behind me began doing so in a strong voice 

and magnified the sense of good will.

A woman walked by on the other side of the street 

and claimed, "he's my king".

We called back, "we love you anyway".

It was all a welcome lesson for my ripening soul.

The word love may be overused

yet it still carries power.

Namaste'

 

We Let Our Hopes Go Up

I had something else queued for today until I saw this.

It activated something inside that made tears well up.

It was the thought of "imagination standing there,

waiting to cradle the ones that fall."

Hopes certainly seem to be falling frequently these days.

This encourages me to tap into imagination for cradling

and guidance going forward.

The image encourages me to pay close attention 

although sometimes, I find 

softening my gaze and letting my mind wander

brings imagination closer than straight on gazing.

It also encourages me to seek out the tiny,

the small, the apparently insignificant...

I picked a bouquet of grasses yesterday.

Not sure why other than I 

felt they deserved some notice. 

I remind myself hope happens

among the quiet folds of ordinary living...

it does not require loud, audacious or dramatic.

It's a moment by moment love affair.

We're in this together.

It is truly up to us and we've got this.

Imagination is showing us the way,

Namaste'

 

Life Is

At first glance this doesn't feel like much of a quote.

However, upon reflection, life today certainly does

 seem to be about undergoing...or enduring....

wretched things happening everywhere, even close to home.

"We are constitutionally in the midst."

Isn't this the sad, sad truth?

This is why focusing on the forests and rivers is vital.

Last night, after sitting through a long meeting 

with a disappointing outcome, 

seeing fireflies for the first time this season

was the delight I needed to remember to soak in

tiny bits of joy strong amongst the detritus.

Let the forest and the rivers enliven us.

We will stand strong together.

We are not a minority.

We are massive in number and mighty in spirit.

We simply need to make ourselves visible.

Namaste'

 

I Used To Think

These words give me hope...

on these days when I ask myself what possible

contribution this art I'm making is bringing to the world.

They help me to continue to trust in what I do not know which

lives inside of me and wants to be revealed...that needs to be seen.

It surprises me how demanding this is.

To believe when there is no solid evidence to do so.

To believe when things seem small and pointless

in the face of so much vying for attention and care.

And to believe in myself, no less, rather than some deity.

Could it be true whatever is divine is already here?

That feels like way too bold of a stretch.

Once again I'm reminded that its the small steps

and hesitant questions that lead the way.  

It's staying the course even when I not sure where I'm going.

It's believing the river of goodness exists within me 

and the world around me even when things look bleak.

We are in this together and we will prevail.

Our journey matters.

Namaste'

 

Today Is A Good Day

These words are brimming...overflowing.

It feels wrong to add any commentary; rather,

I want to etch them into the back of my hands;

carry them in every pocket, tattoo them on my forearm

and never wear sleeves so I am reminded always.

Let them dissolve into my bones,

turn to permanent ink in my blood stream.

This is word made flesh...dwelling among us...

dwelling within me.

Namaste'

 

I Want To Tell All Women

"It's about owning the ocean of who you ARE."

Let's think about how vast and majestic the ocean is...

the landscapes existing deep within;

the amazing creatures living within the depths;

now apply those elements to yourself.

This is what I would call ripening.

Enjoy the gift...the present of your own presence.

It's everything.

Namaste'

 

There Are Things You Do

Something lighter today for balance.

I've come to enjoy being in the mystery of darkness;

however sitting in the midst of madness is a different story.

This requires strong measures of concentrated goodness 

for sanity and well being.

I hope with fierce intent that this regime will soon end.

In the meantime, let's remember to balance the work

of resistance with the joy of existance in a world filled with beauty

often found in unexpected places amidst unplanned happenings.

Many carry heavy backpacks of heartache...

let's continue being gentle with each other and with ourselves.

We've got this....we're doing it....together and we will prevail.

Namaste'

 

That Kind Of Hope

"It looks the world full on, it looks reality in the face,

and it refuses to accept that things have to be this way."

Easy to write these words, not so easy to act them out.

Its PAINFUL to look reality in the face and 

see all the NEEDLESS suffering and destruction 

caused by humans.  It's just full-stop HARD.

(I'm going to exercise my goodness muscle and say

hurt humans.  Humans who don't know any better.

Humans who don't care because they are deeply wounded.)

I want to make them monsters and demons;

I want to destroy them for their heartless greed

and need to dominate others but that 

takes me nowhere I want to be.  

And it doesn't work.

Now, my "intelligence, energy, persistence,

creativity and courage" must gather the power

to get behind and sustain this insistence...

this "refusal to accept that things have to be this way."

May the goodness from the universe and beyond

be the force that propels and sustains us.

We are in this together.

Namaste'

 

I'm Talking About Hope

"In the face of profound, reasonable despair,

hope is a calling."

This is something I can live with...

I've been adamantly refusing to use the word despair 

because it means giving up and I reject

giving up with every fiber of my being.

I can carry "reasonable" despair 

even as I detest its presence in my sphere.

Why is it some people feel the need and the right

to force their will upon others, 

and do so with impunity?

Why is that?

I wish humans had the capacity 

of trees to alter their chemical composition

in order to banish predators.

Perhaps we do in some way?

We need to employ whatever resources

we have with vigor and charisma.

I'm ok with casting spells if that's what it takes!

This is me, flexing and strengthening my hope muscle.

Namaste'

 

To River

If you give this some thought, we are  "rivering" constantly.

Our physical bodies contain enough water to make us a mini river...

flowing along...picking up and carrying things we encounter...

occasionally leaving them on the shore when we're done with them...

We carry microbiomes of life...bacteria, fungi and viruses...

similar to the habitats living in healthy rivers.

Our mind is like a river...

 currents, thoughts and energy of emotions 

moving through time and space.

I am enchanted by the idea of "rivering"!

Isn't it ironic that auto correct changes it to riveting?

Namaste'

Rivers Are Easily Wounded

It's a stretch to contemplate this right now as our river 

has so recently been ravaged.

However, I find hope in these words and

trust reality will follow in the healing of the river, with time.

"Remarkable speed" is a relative term, isn't it?

May the river respond with robust resilience 

and may we humans follow the lead 

as we find ourselves in the midst of a different kind of ravaging.

Human dignity, respect and decency being plundered before our eyes.

Kindness, fairness and empathy scoffed at, rejected, dismissed.

Truth kidnapped and held hostage.

We are resilient...we resist and persist and prevail.

This is us, together, healing ourselves.

Our goodness is pouring back.

Namaste'

 

We Read Each Name

The situation in Gaza has been haunting me, yet, I've 

stored it away where things I cannot control reside.

Two days ago, I read this story

about a doctor working in a hospital in Gaza

when the charred remains of 9 of her 10 children were brought in.

I learned about it via Nikita Gill's Instagram feed.

She asked what poetry can do in a world where this happens.

This poem is her response.

I am sharing it from the river of tears in my heart...

"This is all it means to be human.

To know the beating heart of the world

even when it is a wound."

We are all carrying the wounds of this world

and it is a torturously heavy burden...

May this be a catalyst for gathering our forces,

for showing us how we need each other,

to help carry this together.

It is the only path toward healing.

Namaste'

 

There Was A Forest

This fantasy verse fascinates me.

"It doesn't make sense", I think to myself.

But its the bits of nonsensical that appeal to me.

A "forest who grew without touching the ground", 

the "mist holding her up"?

It conjures delicious imagery to contemplate.

And then, the trees, thin as veins,

 reached for something they couldn't see."?

My favorite line. 

I'm frequently reaching for something I can't see.

We'll ignore the "thin as veins".

"some things are too full of sky to fall."

I feel as though the sky is a constant companion

as I walk the woods, drive the car and sit by the window.

Endless variety and relatively constant motion here.

I have a bit of an issue with 

"some things don't even know they're lost."

It's the word things.  

I'm practicing the art of seeing

"things" as animate rather than inanimate objects.

That being said, I love the phrase.

Aren't we all a bit lost?  Always?

Namaste'

 

To Free Us

It seems to me this is critical work, 

especially for women of my generation.

And it should be noncritical in nature, in my opinion.

We are masterful at sensing what is expected of us.

I believe the programming begins at conception.

I guess it's logical that it takes a lifetime 

to free ourselves from it's clutches.

"to give us back to ourselves..

there lies the great, singular power

of self respect."

Let this be the music of our days.

Namaste'

 

Internet Search History

These words cause deep reverberations inside my soul.

Not only the petty grievances from years ago still hovering in my orbit;

but the deeper cuts from major sources causing me to shrink instead of shine.

"Is it possible to unlearn the language of everything that hurt us?"

To unlearn a language takes strong replacement and significant time, right?

Haven't we felt that moment when our rage turns to grief?

Isn't that why many of us end up in tears when we're furious?

It's so much easier to be mad than it is to be sad.

I'm wondering if there's a way to make forgiveness a little easier?

In my sphere it is mighty, mighty arduous.

Forgiving cruelty, for example, seems, 

well, 

unforgivable.

I have to work hard to remember forgiveness is not approval.

I've never thought of forgiving myself for becoming who I am...

at first I out and out rejected the idea...felt a strong objection to it...yet...

upon reflection I realize there will always be parts of me worthy of forgiveness.

I'm not going to make it out of here without mistakes, flaws and failings...

what a rude awakening!

And what an inspiration to keep learning how to forgive.

Namaste'

 

Follow The Flutter

I can honestly say I've never felt a tingle in my toes.

Perhaps it might happen if I paid attention to them?

I do get chills up and down my skin...

so I get the gist of what she's saying.

What delights me about this is the way

she points out the messages we get through our body.

I spend so much time in my head, I tend to forget the rest of me.

"The right path lights up under your skin."

I've been seeking it on the ground in front of me.

This is reminding me its on the inside, not the outside.

I like to think its a friendly conversation between both.

So often its what someone says or does that

provokes a "tingle" inside of me.

Those are the moments to "slow down and feel it."

For me that means letting go of what I've

anticipated and assumed is where I am and where I'm going.

A tiny detail that makes 

a tremendous difference, wouldn't you say?

Namaste'

 

Guide Your Heart

Not exactly sure why this lit a spark for me.

These days, my heart wants to remain in the background...

tucked away where nothing but goodness can seep through.

I sense if my throat opened, there would only be a long wail of grief.

Yet, that's only in one level of the chamber.

In another is the wonder of grandchildren graduating,

seeds quietly growing, the first blush of spring

bursting with color and life.

Can I learn to appreciate the mixture...?

grief blended with the wonder?

I'm inviting in my ghosts 

for the pleasure of "emptying them".

That way I can fill the space they leave 

with what is real.

And yes, sincerely yes to learning to be braver.

Fear cannot be allowed permanent lodging...

only temporary passage on the way to courage.

Namaste' 

 

If You Look Closely

"smaller circles, louder love, stronger integrity,

deeper presence, and greater peace."

In some ways, our bubble might not be so bad?

I guess it depends on the make up of your bubble, doesn't it?

"the magic is in refinement."

One synonym for refinement is clarification.

This has my mental wheels turning at a slightly different angle.

"Trim what drains you. Protect what nourishes you.

Prioritize depth over breadth."

This is the meaning of ripening, isn't it?

To hone your life to a concentration of

joy, wonder, astonishment...

tightly braided with gratitude for

the quiet waters of everyday existence?

To cherish the mundane as well as the marvelous?

To recalibrate the ugliness into a possibility for diving deeper

beneath the surface of our expectations and assumptions;

to seek with precision for every tiny tendril of love and light?

 

Giving this some thought...

Thanks for listening.

Namaste'

 

You'll Watch Yourself

I suspect anyone at or near my stage of ripeness

has experienced this more than once.

It's the marvel of resilience.

The wonder of choice and change.

It's a fine reminder to remember

"Not how you fell. 

But how you got back up,

and lived."

Namaste'

 

Water Speak

I would say, when you speak

"fill each syllable with the sound of the river."

This conjures the physical river we all love

as we are currently heart broken by the ravaging

 and the imaginary river of goodness which

runs true and unscathed beneath the surface.

"then, no matter what words [are said] we will

"hear the unending waves, will smell

the musty, earthy scent on our skin

long after the words [and the heavy machinery] are gone.

These words of grief and sorrow echo what is in my heart.

The actual river, though wounded, continues. 

May the river of goodness hasten the healing.

"There is home in the way words cling to me

like water beads on my skin.

This is how we remember where we're from."

The river of goodness attends to us.

The unseen waves carry us forward

even when we cannot make our own muscles move.

Even when we are too grief stricken to notice.

Namaste'

 

 

I Want To Be So Kind

If only kindness "echoed backwards in time and

undid the things that hurt" others.

Just think of all the harm and it's consequences

that would be healed, making today's world

a completely different one. 

"I want to be so kind that I make someone else

find faith in humanity again."

This feels possible...this we can do.

In tiny ways...smiling costs nothing.

Giving another the benefit of the doubt.

Reining in my defensive nature and

not taking things personally.

These are small steps I believe I can make

toward large kindness.

Namaste'

 

If I Lived A Thousand Years

 "I could never find words worthy enough 

for this wordless web of wonder"...

I must take a knee to this sentence.

And this one...

"I don't have a thousand years, I have, only, this right-now

breath that, already, just now, has passed."

It brings to mind the wonder of blinking...

the automatic balancing of the dark and the light

we are mostly unaware of.

May we "soak ourselves in stillness until this wink

of wild wonder is all there is. 

then isn't."

 I relish the shivers that run down my spine

at this thought that matters.

Namaste' 

Do The Feelings Ever?

We "learn to wrap them up into something to wear",

don't we?

Actually, I'm thinking we wear them automatically;

without even realizing what we're dressed up in?

One thing I've observed in our pets is how

they sense what we're feeling regardless

of what we're wearing on the surface.

We may think we're keeping the secret,

but the "secret" is out.

Our feelings are our feelings.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could listen without judgement,

pay attention without recrimination?

Work through them so they enlighten

without reacting in harmful ways?

We're all here together doing the best we can.

Growing into goodness.

(I'm trusting saying it often enough will make it reality.)

Namaste'

 

Nobody Warns You

I get choked up when I read this quote.

It embarrasses and levels me because I know the truth of it

to the center of my soul.  I just came out of a session

with myself about the quality of how I spend my time.

It was a vise of self recrimination and doubt.

This was right after I'd written a vow 

to believe in myself no matter how "off"  it felt.

I'm learning to "forgive myself"... 

almost "instantly". 

The riper I get, the more I realize how vital

it is to be your best cheerleader, with vigor and constancy.

Against every single voice that wants to undermine and diminish.

Even your own.  Especially, your own.  Nail it to the wall.

You matter.  We all do.

Namaste'