Posting this was exquisitely difficult for me.
The default voices were in high gear
telling me no one wants to think about shame,
much less talk about it.
I had to remind myself that the resistance
to speaking of it is exactly the point.
The goal is to find the courage to
grow away from the shame
and the best way to do it is to think about it,
allow ourselves to FEEL it, and talk about it.
It's the only way to neutralize its power.
It brought to mind a very recent event
at a table with good friends (thank goodness)
when I found myself visibly drooling
while I as talking.
I was mortified.
Completely and totally mortified.
It felt like a preview of what's ahead
and
I. Did. Not. Like. It.
Thankfully my friends laughed about it
which took away some of the horror.
If they'd gone silent or
pretended not to notice,
it would have been so much worse.
Ok, this is my awkward, sort of brave
attempt for today.
I may need some recovery time.
Thanks for listening.
kastilwell
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