Citizen of Dark Times

www.kimstaffordpoet.com

 

"When you hit rock bottom, dig farther down.

Grief is the seed of singing, shame the seed of song.

Keep seeing what you are not saying."

Holy wow to these lines. 

"Shame the seed of song?"

I have never thought of it in that way.

Shame and grief...the two chambers of agony

many of us seek to avoid at any cost.

Perhaps I should change that to "I" seek to avoid.

Then...

"the songbirds only weapon is a song."

I've always told myself that I don't need to 

go looking for sorrow and pain

in the martyrdom style of my ancestors.

They will always find me.

I do confess to skirting around them.

To armoring up so as not to feel

even the lesser spectrums of loss and humiliation

happening more and more frequently

in this journey toward elderhood.

Now telling myself it's a good idea

to loosen the armor just a fraction

because when you can't feel the loss

you're anesthetized to joy.

You're a songbird without a song.

So in looking for the key

 to unlock the armor.

I hope to find myself humming.

kastilwell