Always Remember

"Just the way you are is undeniably beautiful."

In this often cynical world, we must gather and hold this thought close.

Carry it with us everywhere...wear it like we wear our skin.

This seems like a fitting quote to take into the long weekend.

Namaste'

 

Somewhere, Something Beautiful

"Maybe its inside you, in the empty rooms 

you thought you'd given up on, growing anyway."

This line chokes me up.  I've given up on too many things to count.

Because I'm one of those people who wants to try everything.

"The things we're waiting for aren't always far away,

sometimes they're already close, just behind a door 

we haven't had the courage to open yet."

This is how I'm feeling about art making.  

My heart fills with gratitude for the opportunity

to stick with something despite the voices in my head

telling me I'm wasting my time...

to stumble and thrash around and be ok with it.

To make mistakes and let them show me

something different than what I expected.

To get messy, to be stuck, to not know what I'm doing

or where I'm going...and trust what is inside 

rising to the surface.

To shush the critics and ignore the commentary.

"The more gently we meet who we are now,

the more clearly we begin to see what's possible."

For me, this means pausing my automatic judgments,

and unconscious assumptions.

To take a moment; to step back and give space...

to allow room (and time) for curiosity, opposing thoughts

and ungraceful beginnings.  

To recognize that things may not be as they 

appear on the surface from my limited point of view.

Forgiving myself becomes large in this unfolding.

Sometimes I think this is the hardest work of all.

May we all be gentle with who we are now.

Namaste'

 

Live

"It's at the center of your palm, waiting to be [touched]."

(I will confess, I sometimes grow weary of people

offering poetic advice on how to live life.)

That being said, I'm now contemplating the center of my palm.

I reread the line and it says "clutched" not touched!

Hmmmmm.

Frankly, I like the thought of  touching over clutching.

"beginnings start with darkness, not light."

What will we begin today...what is starting in your darkness?

I'm envisioning becoming more cheerful, optimistic, and joyful.

Let her take center stage in my current of life.

Grumpy Gertrude needs to take her last curtain call;

so does Terrified Tina and Dour Doris.

Gaiety is the best way to resist.

Note to self: Tattoo this on my wrist.

Now I will end this as I

commence "creating my own bright morning".

Namaste'

 

 

What If

This is an alternate view of death, isn't it?

Not that any of us want to rush it but, rather,

when it inevitably approaches, or unexpectedly appears

to welcome it without fear?  To see it with different eyes.

One of the most comforting things I've heard recently was

that dying doesn't mean you go away, it means you are now everywhere.

This does not take away the pain of losing cherished beings.

Instead, it gives us another way to see things...something beautiful,

mysterious, and eternal to help us through 

the heartbreak and loneliness of loss.

Namaste'

 

Quiet Friend

"And as you ring, what batters you becomes your strength."

We are being battered, aren't we?  

It's a reassuring thought to have it becoming our strength, isn't it?

Feeling the "intensity of the pain" is the hard part. 

It's possible to distract, keep it at a distance, go numb.

There is a grief of powerlessness I find myself consumed with;

forgetting that is how cruelty and greed survive.

"If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine."

Oh, take a knee for the grace to turn into wine!

To ferment, to ripen, to bloom, to mellow...

to evolve.

We are the seething liquid of the chrysalis...

we are becoming something of tremendous beauty;

delicate, daring, and indomitable...

the apparent fragility of the spider web

with bullet-proof capabilities, 

and the resilience to repair and reweave the web

time after time after time.

"be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses."

Is this crossroads where we find ourselves swaying in and out?

Learning how to transform and transcend the failings and the faults...

beyond the layers of subterfuge, treachery and deceit, 

into a metamorphosis rooted in truth and equality, 

with decency and dignity for all?

May it be so.

Namaste'

 

I Go In And Out

I'm leaning into the ability to sway these days.

It's deeply heartbreaking to witness things as they are.

Many, many, many of us are doing everything

we can to RESIST. 

It feels like an ancient battle that apparently 

has to be waged over and over again.

Those who believe some are better 

while others believe all are equal.

Taking a deep, deep breath.  

Concentrating on my "pulse of survival".

Absorbing the peace of the forest and nature.

Feeling extremely grateful for your presence

in my world of hope for dignity and decency.

Soft rebellion may not be loud but it is mighty.

Goodness matters...it exists everywhere...

sway into it as often as you can. 

Namaste'

 

I Carve My Name

 My immediate reaction reading this for the first time was to cringe in horror

 at the thought of carving anything into a piano bench.

Then I read the rest of the quote and my perspective shifted.

"Cold perfectionism" has got to go.  

Yesterday, as I was gluing layers together, 

the paper didn't cooperate and I ended up with some wrinkles.

"Cold perfectionism" was right there with her scorn.

It was one of those moments when I had to call on all the learning

and all the letting go of the learning to allow the wrinkles to become part of the art.

I love the idea of "showing up soft and loud in spaces of quiet hardness".

I confess, I am the perpetrator of those spaces of "quiet hardness" most of the time.

I'm not big on loud. but I am all in with softness.

Namaste'

Stop

This feels like balm on sore muscles...

One small thing...

our  palms may feel like they're filled with emptiness

yet, I have come to understand that seemingly

empty palms actually hold much...

they hold everything I cannot see...

air, trillions of nitrogen and oxygen atoms, 

possibility, a universe of motion and energy.

Fragments of stars, photons of light,

a field of gravity. 

All of this seems like goodness 

right here, 

right now.

Sit quietly and "survey the growing of things.  

Don't rush the harvest.  Don't ignore the splendor."

Namaste'

 

Sometimes

"just take one step--any step--

and watch the road begin to build itself under your feet."

I'm enchanted with this thought as it reminds me

I am the one plotting the course of what's left of my time here.

I am learning to "let the night be night", most particularly

when all I want to do is escape from whatever is haunting me 

while in the midst of it.  

Trusting is the key, I'm thinking...trusting both the night

and the coming morning.  Knowing they are both part of the tapestry.

May our nights be gentle and our mornings bright.

Namaste'

 

Some Days

My darkness has yet to "get on his/her knees

and call me Queen". 

I'm liking that idea.

It is intriguing to view darkness as an entity...

to discover different words to describe her/him.

Its refreshing to consider tenebrosity

as kind and caring enough 

to "wrap me in a cloak."

So. I'm raising a glass to befriending my crepuscle.

Even when these alternative names sound awkward to my ears.

Namaste'

 

Walking Contradictions

Such wisdom and truth here.

Creating chaos, breaking things and creating dramas

are useful weapons if your agenda is to reduce

people to where they are seeing only in over simplified 

black and white; us versus them; bad versus good; fear laden instincts.

These dualities have been with us as long as humanity.

Any trip into history reveals the horrors it produces. 

We're getting a taste of the toxicity of this "stinkin thinkin".

It's vital for sanity and well being to resist this.

I see it in myself as so much debris and flotsam is

coming at me, my reaction is to withdraw

and defend rather than to notice and learn.

Nuance and complexity require vigilance.

You are called to question rather than to react.

I know this in my mind yet find myself in a 

consistent state of outrage instead of 

taking a minute to observe how I'm being played.

And acting accordingly.

May we continue to hold firm and steady during this disruption;

resisting the forces at work to divide us and reduce us to binary thinkers.

We will not be divided or reduced.

Our "team" is our earth based community.

We are in this together

and we will not be simplified.

Namaste'

A Jumble Of Words

"I must learn to tell happier stories."

A hearty yes to that plan.  Although, in fairness,

aren't most good stories a happy/sad mixture?

The trick is to focus on the happy and enliven it

rather than ignoring it while we fixate on the sad.

Being "so comfortable and content in her own skin that 

nothing can shake her"?  That is something to aspire to.

I'm slowly learning to say yes to myself.  

Those no roots run deep and strong.

May your day be filled with yeses!

Namaste'

 

You May Not Be Able To Change The World

There is no way to adequately describe how much I want to change the world.

The indoctrination of language (and lies) has taken hold and it is toxic.

It turns friends into enemies, family members into outsiders,

neighbors into scary strangers, and those on the "other" side into demons.

"what I can do is be kind, take my light with me everywhere I go"

even if it's wavering and threatening to sputter out.

I cannot let myself fall victim to the pandemic of fear and alienation.

I want large poetic gestures and a loud voice to call out to everyone

to stop this madness, and bind up the wounds that are raw and oozing blood.

We are not enemies, our country is in a chrysalis...

a liquid gruesome goo of metamorphasis

looking like a puddle of slime;

bearing NO resemblance to the

 amazing creature due to emerge.

I will keep taking baby steps...baby breaths

and cling to the belief that together we will 

do what must be done, to treat this raging infection

with the proper medicine to dress the wounds,

correct the wrongs, and promote healing...

decency, dignity and equality for every being.

Namaste'

 

There Are Going To Be Things

"When it settles in your bones like its home, welcome it."

This can be exceptionally challenging when you're indoctrinated

to give undue influence to the opinion of others.  

You are indeed fortunate when you have someone you can share

your creations with who respects and supports what you're making.

You have to be strong enough to let any criticism

 that goes against your soul float swiftly down the stream.

May we each follow what "brings peace to our spirit"

and carry it with reverence no matter what​ anyone says or does

(​especially ourselves...the harshest critic is often the one living in your head).

Namaste'

Make Peace With

 I'm sensing many of us resonate with this.

"for they are the bones of the temple you sit in now."

I envision all the versions of myself, from embryo, through childhood,

through adolescence and early adulthood and beyond to now.

The idea of them as bones of a temple is an appealing way to see myself.

Something I would not have conjured up by myself.

And I love "they are the rivers of wisdom leading you toward the sea."

Each of us is this river; part of the river of goodness.

I am grateful to be here with you.

Namaste'

After A Day In The Garden

I'm in love, love, love with this!

It's something to focus on especially when our world 

feels exceptionally exploitative and predatory.

Leaves reaching toward the light and warmth of the sun 

while roots reach down into the dark, fertile, rich earth.

A glorious image of what it means to be alive.

Adding the fact that 

 we breathe in synchronicity 

with the photosynthesis 

of plants and trees.

The color green...ever more precious.

May we treasure everything it represents.

Namaste'

 

Astronomy Is History

Not only is my body doing amazing feats in one second,

looking up at the night sky is dazzling me with 

its theater of time.

I'm not sure I can wrap my head around seeing

five hundred and fifty years into the past...

as I'm standing in my own "now" moment.

1475 was the year Michealgenlo was born!

Nor can I completely grasp five hundred and fifty 

light years of distance.

Here's what I found out...

If I started walking the equator, one lap at a time, it would take me

over 4 million lifetimes (80 years) to walk that distance at a brisk pace --

assuming I never stopped.

The enchantment goes on and on even as we live through mayhem.

Namaste'

I Sharpened A Tiny Ax

I love the idea of "splitting seconds myself".

"Too much lives in a moment"

Oh my goodness, isn't this a marvelous reminder?

Think of all our body is doing in one second! 

Our brain fires 100 million nerve impulses while it 

processes input from all FIVE of our senses--nearly simultaneously!

At the same time, regulating our heart rate, breathing, and posture.

Our heart pumps roughly 70 milliliters of blood 

sending oxygen and nutrients to tissues.  

Blood travels several feet through our arteries and veins.

We inhale or exhale once, moving 500ml of air in and out of our lungs.

Oxygen diffuses into our bloodstream and CO2 is expelled feeding

the green leaves all around us.

Our body produces around 3 million new red blood cells

and 30-40 thousand skin cells die and fall off.

Plus, cells complete thousands of chemical reaction for energy, repair and growth.

Bone marrow creates new blood cells constantly.

Hundreds of muscles adjust to maintain posture, balance and subtle movements.

Our eyes may blink once, our retinas process thousands of light signals and

our ears receive and transmit sound vibrations at over 300 meters per second.

Our bod adjusts blood flow, sweating and metabolism to maintain our core temperature.

And one single second is enough to recognize a loves one's voice, recall a memory

or feel a flash of emotion.

All this in ONE SECOND!  

It took way longer to type this in!

No wonder we might want a "tiny ax to split these seconds" ourselves.

"Too much lives in a second not to feed it to the fire in our heart...

SLOW."

Namaste'

No Such Thing

Being silent these days is simply not an option.

While many of us know this, it feels like many do not.

It is troubling for sure.  Especially when the silence

and even more so, the capitulation comes from those who

you would think would be leaders in the defiance...

Law Firms.

News organizations.

Universities!

Corporations.

The irony of it all is almost a joke...if it wasn't so serious

for everyone who knows what we are losing.

How I wish I knew what to say or do that would

shift things toward decency, dignity and equality.

Those are the threads that keep me going 

and keep me speaking out.

We're in it together. We can do this.

Namaste'

 

We Are The Stars

How much a part of everything we all are is

worthy of a lifetime of contemplation.

It's one thing to think it in my head...

another to smell, taste, see, hear and

feel it on and in my skin.

To sense it flowing through my bloodstream,

in my bones, my beating heart, 

my constantly expanding and contracting lungs.

Stardust in every bit of me...

and every bit of you.

Namaste'

 

Because The World

I adore the middle finger this gives to the predominant view of strength.

Visualize me sitting here comfy in my pajamas

tenderly stretching my soft and flexible wrists and ankles;

as I admit with strong words how terrified I am at

our lack of concern for our home...our earth...each other.

I make countless mistakes. Just yesterday... leaving a watercolor painting

outside to dry...and neglecting to bring it in before the downpour.

I failed to turn the burner off making hard boiled eggs.

I flex my mistake-making muscle over and over again...

making it my life's mission to outdo my previous record...

(minus the burner one).

Except I'm not keeping count.

Might I add that the strong ones also include:

 apologizing when appropriate; 

asking for forgiveness; 

giving the benefit of the doubt, especially to your perceived enemies;

forgiving yourself and others;  

changing your mind when necessary;

saying no to expectations; 

questioning your assumptions; and 

being your truest self.

May your day be filled with softness, flexibility;  

the courage to name your fears outloud;

and a myriad of enlightening mistakes along the way.

Namaste'