Thursday, November 14, 2024

The Morning After

My heart reverberates with the permission to rage.
It will need to burn for awhile, I suspect.  
At least for two and possibly four years.

However, I look forward to the day when 
"I will remember how to breathe again--
and then my hand will reach for yours, and from the ashes
we will rise, howl roar love our way bigger"...and better!

May it come to pass.
Our day will come!
Namaste'



 

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

To Walk In The Mad World And Not Be Mad

Such magnificence here.
He names the stark horrors
and immediately redeems them
through his agency...and relays that agency to us.
No sugar coating on the ugly truth;
while handing us the antidote...
the way to turn it into gold.
The way to cope.
A map for the way forward.
"To have the heaviness weigh two tons
but find lightness knowing I'm not alone."
I'm so grateful I'm not alone.
Namaste'




 

Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Torn Mind

I would never have considered being jealous of Jonah.
And yet, the belly of a whale sounds like a nice place
to retreat to for the next two/four years.

"to settle into time like it does into water"
To sink into the depths like the whale...
Let's keep this in mind when the surface is tumultuous.

"To patient beside the rumbling pump room of the heart."
This reminds me not to let my heart become stone...
to tend to it with tender care and continual concern.
To find "the quiet there...nowhere and everywhere at once."

And my favorite line of the poem:
"The holiness of that wholeness."

We have what it takes to meet this challenge.
We will find treasures we do not know exist.
I found one last night in a room overflowing
with folks showing up...gathering together...
in light of what's ahead...ready to stand strong.
We will see what the wonder of goodness is capable of.

Namaste'






 

Monday, November 11, 2024

For This, I Walk Outside

"Outside everything is teacher; ...this fallible, fabulous human race,
this improbably, beautiful planet in space.
...I must inhabit it wholly and be inhabited by it too, 
as if it all could end tonight, as if it goes on forever."
These are beautiful words.  

May they sink into my skin with permanent ink.
"It could all end tonight."  In some ways, it feels like it already has.
But then, it does go on forever, doesn't it?  Whatever forever means.
Seeing things in moss time, boulder time, planet time gives a perspective
that helps to soften the implications in this immediate, tangible, physical reality.
It doesn't lessen the grief.  
It doesn't dilute the injustice and absolute wrongness of the situation.
But we continue...together.
Namaste'



 

Saturday, November 9, 2024

It's Going To Be Ok




It’s Going to Be Okay

I know it will be okay
because NASA has confirmed
Stephen Hawking was right
and the world will end
probably by the year 2600,
which means we are celebrating
the birth of our children
into oblivion with instructions
to make their own children
in the path of oblivion,
as if to hope someone’s children
at some point, and therefore
all of us, will live to be
obliterated, but the children
keep being born, keep entering
the world as if it is a relief
to finally be here, screaming
from the terrible joy of it,
and we all know children
carry wisdom from a universe
none of us can revisit
or reclaim, where our pre-sight,
pre-form, pre-human, pre-vengeance
and pre-war selves may still exist
as the perfectly contented
and eternally miserable dust
of stars, and the way back
to that place is printed inside
a pocket of the brain that’s been
sewn shut one fatal stitch
at a time, one earth-day
at a time by a divine and quiet
needle that does not ask
our permission, which explains
how we begin as children
but grow into grimness
then end up desperately needing
to understand how okay it will be,
and I know it will be okay
because there was a double rainbow
glowing against a heavy storm
as it fattened and purpled
over my city this morning
and all my friends took pictures
before the power outages
and fallen trees were noted
on living maps and grids,
and now we have proof
of the irreverence of light waves
and the indiscriminate
appearance of hope to look at
on dying screens tonight,
and I know it will be okay
because I overheard a crying man
in the lobby of an animal hospital
telling the shivering one-eyed dog
beside him that it would be okay,
he promised, it would be okay,
and when I asked what the dog’s
name was, the man said
my name, said Abby,
and isn’t that ominous,
isn’t it meaningful whether I like it
or not, and isn’t it true
that it happened and my dog self
was alive and visibly comforted
by his words, shivering less,
maybe awake more, loved more,
even though dogs are dual citizens
of this universe and the one
we can’t reach back to, where
wisdom is still just another type
of common matter, which is to say
dogs—animals—consistently know
it is not okay, has never been okay
will not become okay
and yet they gather with us
in the path of disaster after disaster,
purring or playing or burrowing
happily into our warmth
because it is not survival
to pursue anything otherwise,
and I know it will be okay
because I keep dreaming
that my daughter and I are falling
through the atmosphere toward
the very real stone earth
and when she yells what’s happening to us
I take two equally crucial steps:
first, I put my body between hers
and oblivion, and second, I shout
through the guiltless but roaring silence
that it will be okay
because even in my dreams
I am learning that another answer
would be death before impact
and I contain the residue
of asteroids, I am part animal,
so are you, and so is my child,
and we have been going on
for millennia through the awful
and the sometimes okay
without ever knowing how.

*Abby E. Murray


Friday, November 8, 2024

Life Is A River, They Say

I'm finding myself shifting around between quotes
that seem pertinent and helpful, in an awkward attempt
to find the way forward. 
Here we are.  Facing this unthinkable loss.
The horror and grief are undeniable.  
It seems the River of Goodness has gone underground.
And then I think, that is not true.
I know she's here..."wild, yelling at the rocks."
We're still swimming even in our heartbreak.
We will continue to swim...against the current if we must.
But we will swim.  Together. 
Goodness will prevail.

When you find yourself enraged...there's this:

"Try, as best you can, not to let the wire brush of doubt
scrape from your heart all sense of yourself..."
We will get through this.  No matter what.
We can't give up.
Namaste'