Whether You Succeed Or Not

 "Making your unknown known."

Georgia O'Keefe's words have gifted me

beyond measure.  

kastilwell

Every Teacher Is Human

 "Everything we learn, we learn from someone who is imperfect."

Perfect and imperfect are two words I struggle with.

Who decides?

Who gets to call which falls under which definition?

Perhaps, that's where maturity and wisdom come in.

You get to decide.  I get to decide.

And in my book, the answers are decidedly different

from what I picked up from the world around me along the way. 

I'm having to undo a lot of programming in this area.

I've been a blank and hungry slate for those

wanting to sell me something a good portion of my life.

There's a sense of lush freedom braided with pure terror 

as the unraveling commences and 

and the slate recalibrates.

kastilwell

 

Too Weird or Too Difficult

This touches on a tender place for me.

"value determined by productivity,

the strength of one's career, and 

individual entrepreneurship",

has stalked me all my life.

It's another aspect of 

people-pleasing syndrome,

isn't it? 

If you're fortunate

to have found your "thing"...

that one that fits you down to your soul or soles,

and provides you with a decent living,

bravo and cheers to you.

And, if your "thing" doesn't provide you with a decent living, 

may it bring you enough joy to make up for 

having to work a less than satisfying career.​​

Meanwhile, I'm focusing on

weird and difficult 

as a means of "resisting in place".

Which means

having the courage 

to shake off the shroud

of people-pleasing, doesn't it?

kastilwell

Rerouting and Deepening One's Attention

"rerouting and deepening one's attention to place"

This theme of place keeps appearing 

with threads from many different tributaries,

merging together into a flowing river;

however,

"will likely lead to an awareness of one's participation in history..."

I hadn't given much thought to this aspect until now.

Now I'm thinking of the late Barbara McRae

and how her attention to place

continues to contribute to this locale,

as I witness the construction of a viewing platform

for bird watchers and nature lovers

on our local greenway.

Barbara's attention to place has inspired

groups of individuals working together

to bring her visions into being.

The Women's History Trail, 

The Cherokee Heritage Apple Orchard,

are two of many, including the Greenway itself.

She was and continues to be an example and an inspiration

of what it means to be rooted to the land,

to the humans and the more-than-humans

living in a place on this earth.

kastilwell

Anything You Claim To Know About God

Even though I feel some hesitation

about sharing this, 

I think it is spot on.

I believe we humans

project our beliefs and our values,

particularly on the subject of Divinity.

I'd like to think this could be expressed

with a gentler tone but perhaps not?

kastilwell

Here's another way to say this.

With thanks to a dear friend for sharing.

If There Were A Divinity

 This was a quote by a dark matter scientist.

I'll include the longer passage below.

"Utterly separate from scientific enquiry

and human longing."

I rather like this.

So far outside understanding

we could neither measure

or pursue them into being.

It seems to me humans

tend to confine their 

sense of Divinity 

into too small a space,

with too confining a definition.

I am open to a Being

beyond any human capability

to define or confine.

kastilwell

Here's the entire passage.

“My sense,’ I say to Christopher, ‘is that the search for dark matter has produced an elaborate, 

delicate edifice of presuppositions, and a network of worship sites, also known as laboratories, all dedicated to the search for an invisible universal entity which refuses to reveal itself. It seems to resemble what we call religion rather more than what we call science.’

‘I grew up as a very serious Christian,’ Christopher says. ‘Then I lost my faith almost entirely when I found physics. Now that faith has returned, but in a much-changed form. It’s true that we dark-matter researchers have less proof than other scientists in terms of what we seek to discover and what we believe we know. As to God? Well, if there were a divinity then it would be utterly separate from both scientific enquiry and human longing.’

 . . .

‘No divinity in which I would wish to believe would declare itself by means of what we would recognize as evidence.’ He gestures at the data read-out. ‘If there is a god, we should not be able to find it. If I detected proof of a deity, I would distrust that deity on the grounds that a god should be smarter than that.” 

― Robert McFarlane, Underland

We All Carry Trace Fossils

This book has held me spellbound;

not only in the subject matter

which is fascinating,

but in the prose that often reads as poetry...

exquisite, cellular level beauty.

The thought that we carry

and deposit trace fossils 

as we journey through life

strikes a chord...

a tender and beautiful note.

The idea that empty volume

is easier to hold then presence

has me pondering;

for in my experience, absence 

of a beloved is heavy weight indeed.

kastilwell